O圣诞树， O圣诞树我流了我的在您的血液: O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree I shed my blood on you

I think I’m allergic to my Christmas tree. Yes, it’s artificial. But it’s from China and I have an aversion to all things manufactured in China. If I’d been boycotting products made in China back in 2003 I might not have bought it. Do Americans make artificial trees? I know I live in the land of the Christmas tree, but I also have a woodstove. Dried out Doug Fir and American made woodstoves do not a happy holiday make. Does that contribute to my carbon footprint? And since it probably does, which contributes more: the Chinese wire and probable lead content, or the smoke from my chimney burning good old American grown Doug Fir? Crap I don’t want to know the answer do I?

Yesterday, after appreciating the lit brilliance of my Chinese artificial Nordic Christmas tree (ha, ha I’m imaging blonde Chinese people with dog sleds hauling my Christmas tree after harvest from the hills of Outer Mongolia,) I took off all the red balls and beads, crystal hearts and angels (all most certainly made in China) and carefully packed them away for later this year. Gingerly parting the wire branches I waded inside to break the tree trunk in to three parts, and proceeded to scratch my arms all to heck, pierce my left thumb (which was already highly abused from changing the high beam bulb - most assuredly manufactured in China- in Ducky’s Aspire earlier in the day) and bled profusely from that tiny hole for thirty minutes. Note: Chinese made band aides do not last as long as Chinese made Christmas trees.

I’m fairly certain I left a Chinese band aide in my American made hot tub filter.

And dirty words (all in English) I flip over my Dell Inspiron lap top and note, that yes folks the (frellin’ Australian made up word for Fuck!) stamps on the underside all say “Made in China.” Next time I’ll buy a Samsung or Sanyo or something less America sounding and maybe it will be made in some place closer to home, like Mexico or Canada.

Bah Humbug,
Cele

Happy Resolutions

Happy New Year!

Every year I fall into the make a resolution revolving door that kicks my butt by, let’s say February. Sad, so sad. Last year I thought to make it a more realistic. I resolved to blog twice a week, and write a poem a week (or three a month.) Well I fell only five short on the blogs, which baffles my mind. How did I get that many written? As for the poems…let’s not go there.

Because I was such a slackard last year, I’m going to try again for 2009. This is post 221 by year’s end, a mere 364 days away in a perfect world, I should have written and posted blog number 345. That is without skipping a single post between 222 to 344 just to be clear. Check back with me December 31st, will you? As for the poetry, well I hope to get one new poem written a month. That should be putting the hurdle low enough.

See, I do make resolutions, but I’ve scaled back from the grandiose “shrink my zip code size butt to one block” dieting for life resolutions to the livable type resolutions. Ergo, I resolve to be more positive, upbeat, and less sensible. Plus I’m doing the two I boffed last year… Some you win, some you lose. I will try harder.

The other thing I plan to improve upon is twofold 1) the time I spend with Ducky and 2) the time I spend in the hot tub.

I, er, I mean we began today. I came home from work (yes, I know it’s New Year’s Day, I’m in radio…and as I am wont to say, “Radio stops for no one.”) Ducky and I watched the first quarter of the Rose Bowl game… go Trojans! (Hey, I support the Pac Ten - Ducks first, the Beavers when they're not playing the Ducks, and damn even them dawgs.) And then hopped into the hot tub. You might note that Oregon’s coast line is being bombarded by high winds, rain, and did I mention high winds? I purposely left the cover partially perched over the west half of the hot tub and climbed in. Amazing. The wind blew, the rain poured, the hot water bubbled merrily…ahhh, total contentment and the perfect way to spend a New Year’s Day.

Hot water.
High winds.
Torrential rains.
And the man I love...Pure Bliss!

Sith,
Cele

The Gifts We Give…Ourselves

In the end the best gifts we give ourselves are the family and friends we embrace and hold dear. The memories we treasure of moments gone past. A wise man, eons gone by, once said, “You can’t take it with you.” I’m pretty certain he was talking wealth, fame, and toys, because love you take with you.

For a year I’d planned a trip in April for my friend’s birthday. You know when you meet a person and they answer something in your heart; like you’ve come home? He is that kind of a person. While I’d never met him face to face, from our contact online I knew he was one of those special people who just fit perfectly into my life and my heart. I had wanted Ducky to take the trip with me, but in the long run I went alone…and had a great time. I spent the next four days in gleeful anticipation of the next event, next person I’d met, the next great adventure. Despite missing Ducky it was worth every moment and I collected a new friend or three a long they way.

Friends are worth their weight in silver and gold.

With the expansion of information on the Internet no one can really hide, unless they began covering their trails long before. In the year past I’ve reconnect with several long lost friends and miss placed relatives – a gift to myself. My father’s passing last December made me try a little bit more to reconnect; he’d successfully done so with several cousins/friends in the short years prior to his passing. I admired that he could chat with his cousins, on the other side of the country, phone for hours. In the earliest years they would meet up at the Furby family reunions in West Virginia. He made the effort to reconnect and then held them dear.

From the time I was two, until age 17 I lived on the same street, in the same house, with the same friends. I loved my neighborhood, my childhood friends remain dear to my memory even though we’ve grown and moved on to become other people. I moved to Oregon three quarters through my junior year. Few friends remained in touch. Okay really one, but through her I have been able to reach out to others. This year, hopefully, we will meet in Las Vegas for an “Old Neighborhood Reunion” I am excited and can’t wait. Yes, they will be different, yes they will have different likes/dislikes, passions and focus, but there is one thing we all have that is similar and that is our beginnings. We share many of the same childhood stories. Michael and I got caught at the age of five playing doctor. Sadly, in a fit of childish anger I broke one of the controls for his race car track (this still bothers me.) My mother taught him and his siblings to swim. And they would sleep over in our back yard on hot summer nights. My mother was his den mother, his father drove me to the emergency room when I split my chin on the edge of the bathtub. Childhoods intertwined.

Just a few months ago I reconnected with Pam. Oh the trouble Pam I could have gotten into…but we were pretty sneaky, well that and as we got older we ran in different crowds. She is excited about a reunion. And I am happy to rekindle a childhood friendship. Do I think that we’ll become BBF’s? No, but her renewed friendship I am enjoying. When I emailed her she wrote me back with wonder and joy and that was enough for me.

Over the years since Classmates and Reunion went on line I’ve searched for a friend or three, each escaped me. Until this year. Finally I saw one name I’d been searching for, we’d been somewhat inseparable in high school. I sent her an email and she replied fairly fast. We up dated each other on our lives and activities. And then she quit writing. I am happy to know she is well and thriving in Orange, but I am sad that we are too different to connect further. I wish her Godspeed and a full life.

As I look ahead to 2009 it is with joy that I looked behind me during 2008. My friends are a true gift to me, whether they be childhood buddies, long lost cousins, or new found family they are my gifts the things I can take somehow from this plane to the next; they are the wealth I embrace to my soul.

Sith,
Cele

Here is 99 Things To Do Meme

I’ve not done a Meme in a while, and this is one I saw first Pomp, then at Wry, and now it is here for me. BTW Pomp’s blog is never, ever lame – despite what she says.

Here is 99 Things To Do (some I wonder why someone would want to do, and several I hope to do someday)…

1. Started your own blog (you're reading this right?)
2. Slept under the stars (who can sleep when you’re watching stars?)
3. Played in a band (you have to play an instrument, I sing back up)
4. Visited Hawaii (what’s all the hoopla?)
5. Watched a meteor shower (watching stars is one of my favorite things to do, preferrably from my hot tub – but meteor showers totally rock.)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (it is the only thing toodo)
7. Been to Disneyland/world (several times it’s lost it’s allure)
8. Climbed a mountain (but riding the ski lift to the top of Bachelor during the summer was pretty damn kewl too.)
9. Held a praying mantis (I’ve never even seen one, does African Walking Stick count?)
10. Sang a solo (oh God, horrors from my childhood)
11. Bungee jumped (I would love to do this, but maybe reverse bungee)
12. Visited Paris (no, but I’ve been to Munchen, London, Copenhagen, Edinbrugh, Stuttgart, York, Frankfurt, Amsterdamn, and Salsbury.)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (amazing and terrifying all in one moment, but in truth flying through a lightning storm was the scariest.)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (yes – stain glass)
15. Adopted a child (does an angel tree or big sister count on this one?)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables (I use to have a vegetable garden every year, but a flower garden is much nicer and you can eat nastiuriums)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight (yeah, duh)
22. Hitch hiked (maybe I shouldn’t have said yes, because after the car stopped for me I refused to get in and walked anyway…oh but my girlfriends (akhem) got in and rode away.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (I’ve not called in sick to work in over 28 years.)
24. Built a snow fort (I’m lucky enough to live where you can build an emanciated snowman about once every five years.)
25. Held a lamb (yes, and my very first photo I took was of a lamb)
26. Gone skinny dipping (yes, wow, what a feeling.)
27. Run a Marathon (run, ha ha)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice (does a gondola at Disneyland come close?)
29. Seen a total eclipse (did the whole layers of film negatives, hole in the box thingie, and watched it in reflecting water too.)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (two of God’s many gifts - not to be missed)
31. Hit a home run (I played league softball, but I don’t think I’ve every hit a home run, that’s something you’d remember right? I do have specific painful memories of softball, see below)
32. Been on a cruise (someday)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person (I know people who have, okay I know that doesn’t count.)
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (definitely, can I go again?)
35. Seen an Amish community (I’m Quaker…okay I know that doesn’t’ count.)
36. Taught yourself a new language (I’m assuming that failing Spanish seven years in arow doesn’t count, right?)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (it is the place to be, it is a place in your heart and I am definitely there)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (it’s too athletic for me these days, but I use to love rock climbing. Not the pick ax - piton type, but still several hundred feet up, standing on the top of the earth over looking the desert, wow that’s kewl kind of rock climbing.)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David (it doesn’t say in person, so beautiful photos – yes)
41. Sung karaoke (several times, did I mention I’m a back up singer?)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt (yes, and it was beautiful, stinky, and not on time)
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant (no, but I’m going to rectify this)
44. Visited Africa (I hope to someday)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight (definitely not over rated, never done enough times)
46. Been transported in an ambulance (I am very lucky that way)
47. Had your portrait painted (ha ha, thank God no.)
48. Gone deep sea fishing (several times, barfed the first half of the ride, and saved great memories for the second half)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person (that would be kewl)
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (nope, but I doubt it has anything over great big rocks in the desert)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (someday – okay this would be why people go to Hawaii right?)
52. Kissed in the rain (you haven’t lived until you’ve kissed in the rain while skinny dipping.)
53. Played in the mud (yes, and lived to play in the mud another day)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (many times, while hiding others in the trunk of the car. Sadly in Oregon I think only one drive in remains.)
55. Been in a movie (no, but I have been on television many times)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China (some day, I’m looking forward to great Chinese)
57. Started a business (yes, a Tidy Car franchise, what a waste of good time and money - why would a person who believes that if a car needs to be washed, it needs to belong to someone else would buy a car detailing business? Oh, right, exhusband.)
58. Taken a martial arts class (I always wanted to try kick boxing)
59. Visited Russia (no and I can’t see it from my front porch)
60. Served at a soup kitchen (yes, did I mention I was a Girl Scout for nine years?)61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (see above)
62. Gone whale watching (ha ha yes, many times, and it is Whale Watching week, so come see me I will take you to watch whales. California Gray and Humpbacks are making their annual migration right now)
63. Gotten flowers for no reason (I send myself flowers every month, my treat to me)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I am not allowed to, but I gave blood a few times before the cut me off because of bruising.)
65. Gone sky diving (I so want to do this)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp (yes, heart rending)
67. Bounced a check (some banks won’t let me in the door – but I have changed my ways and am fiduciari-ly responsible now.)
68. Flown in a helicopter (yes, in Germany to see the Chec border)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (I have my Barbie doll)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial (I am waiting for my personal tour by Tewkes)
71. Eaten Caviar (people do that willingly?)
72. Pieced a quilt (yes I have pieced a quilt, no I have not built a quilt. Does anyone want my squares?)
73. Stood in Times Square (no, sadly)
74. Toured the Everglades (no, sadly – wait, snakes. No, gladly.)
75. Been fired from a job (Yeah! no. Laid off, yes.)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London (yes, way kewl.)
77. Broken a bone (yes, playing softball (catcher) I slid on the wet grass, sat on the ball and broke my coxxic - note, still got the runner out. Broke my right foot parasailing. Note do not parasail on the beach when there is less than 5mph wind, or your brother in law is driving the tow vehicle.)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (yes, gladly)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (truly one of the greatest sites and experiences of the the world, a must do for anyone in the area.)
80. Published a book (I’ve worked on several books that are published…and my name is in them, does that count? Kind of? Like riding the coat tails of others?)
81. Visited the Vatican (really, don’t want to.)
82. Bought a brand new car (over rated experience…twice.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem (this I would like to do)
84. Had your picture in the newspaper (yes, and it wasn’t a wanted posted)
85. Read the entire Bible (yes, but I like to reread the gospels the most)
86. Visited the White House (again, I’m waiting for a personal tour)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (killed no, prepared yes)
88. Had chickenpox (ha ha yes, of course)
89. Saved someone’s life (yes, I heimliched an elderly woman who was choking on a piece of candy – hey it was at work – in a nursing home. Her daughter still says something kind to me when I see her – that was thirty years ago.)
90. Sat on a jury (several times – you come do despies drunk drivers even more than normal after you hear them say “Excuse me/pardon me/could you repeat that? Fifty times on their arrest tape)
91. Met someone famous (several times, did you know they put their pants on the same way you do, they just do it in a spot light.) My one boast is that George Winston seranaded me on my 50th birthday (no he didn’t know it was my birthday – which made it sweeter)
92. Joined a book club (they never chose books I would have chosen.)
93. Lost a loved one (my father one year ago tomorrow – but he’s not the only one)
94. Had a baby (yes, she is beautiful)
95. Seen the Alamo in person (no, but I’m going)
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake (why would people do that?)
97. Been involved in a lawsuit (no)
98. Owned a cell phone (I don’t own a cellphone, my boss owns my cellphone)
99. Been stung by a bee (ouch, yes)
There you go. Now, wasn’t that fun?
See? Blog. Lame.

Happy Days After

I hope your holidays were everything you wanted and more. Despite the fates mine was pretty damn good, filled with love, joy, and most of my kids were able to come home the weekend before for a family gathering. Psam and Burp made it. Miseray and the Brit made it. Poor Seithfrye and the Bo-sox were snowed in Portland.

An early blog (not posted) that I’d written was depressing, negative, and really quiet morose. I don’t’ want to be down I want to be up, positive, and whole. Sometimes the plans we make go awry. Sometimes the plans we make are too intricate. Too involved. Too much. This year I’d really scaled back my plans and regardless they went awry.

Every year I make Kahlua for my family, friends, and even some of my clientele. I made no cookies, no candy, just Kahlua. Four batches in and the deadline for giving the first bottle, I’d realized I had not designed my label. In years past I’d just pulled up a former label and reworked it. This year I designed one in about ten minutes. The blues were pleasing, but it wasn’t until after I’d printed up 24 of them that I saw my flaw. The grey shadow of the Christmas tree is all wrong.

But they work. And really the blues are pleasing.

I put in long days leading up to Christmas day, my plans were falling far behind, and my stress level was mind boggling. Christmas eve day I could feel a meltdown coming on. I was emotional, fully stressed, and heeping more on myself. The answer. Chinese food. I got home from work at 5:30 and Ducky took me out for Chinese. The elixir of life. Okay that and some good love and Kahlua. I came home, baked my pies, and made the vegies for the stuffing and went to bed.

Ducky and I agreed years ago, we travel to his family on Thanksgiving, we stay home for Christmas – the door is open to all. Christmas morning was snowy, but not showy. Psam had to work Christmas night so I am glad it didn’t stick. My mother and Grandmother came for Christmas dinner. My big thing is doing stockings. Everyone contributes; your stocking is fair game anytime after midnight. As we opened presents Christmas afternoon with my mom and grandma I remembered their stockings (this was the first time I’d done one for each of them.)

Side bar: Psam and I adopted Henry on Christmas day, probably twenty years or so ago. She lives in the trailer park my parents use to own, had bought her trailer from them, and became best friends with my mom when her husband passed. Having no children of her own, and step and step grandchildren that want her money but not her, Psam and I wrote out adoption papers and the deed was done. Now she is apart of our family, our ups and downs, our holidays.

So back to stockings. I love stockings, and woah to my surprise at her exclamation and near tears that she’d never, ever had a stocking in her entire life. I mean really, I was floored. How can you go through life and never have been given a stocking? Stockings are for everyone, and then I thought back, my parents didn’t hang stockings, it was all for us kids. Well not in my house. Stockings are for everyone. Christmas is for everyone. So in the after Christmas sale I bought a stocking for next Christmas. Armed with my mom’s key to Henry’s house I will hang the stocking late one night while she is sleeping in her living room. I think that makes a pretty nice gift to myself, don’t you?

Now I need to go package up, and ship my Kahlua Kali.

Sith,
Cele

Victoria’s Secret …The Business of New Math

I am one of those people your accountant told you about: I do not balance my checkbook. Sad, but very true. While in the past this has caused me much woe, I’ve learned to compensate.

During my second marriage I always buffered my balance by rounding every thing up to either…
1) the nearest dollar… or
2) five dollars

The latter was actually the best method when you consider at the time I always paid more bill than I should have, which meant that something would bounce somewhere, some time. My mother, I am sure hangs her head in woe and angst.

In my third marriage (yes I get better with age and repetition) I have learned to just make sure I have a bumper in my accounts. I still over pay my bills. Which is the point of this whole blog.

America is in a financial crisis. Yeah, I know you had no clue until I told you.

While the bra industry is not sagging (pun intended) to my knowledge, I have to question how some companies remain in business. I was a diehard Victoria Secret customer. Their Emma line was smart, sexy, and affordable. Sadly I can no longer be an Emma Line diehard, the brand just doesn’t make their bras big enough, and yes woe is me, no one else makes affordable, sexy bras for women with large breastesesss. I’m sure Ducky would offer to walk around supporting me, but it would get in the way of my typing. And really, manly hands holding up my ponderously, obnoxious bosom is just a fashion faux pas (or wardrobe malfunction) waiting to happen, plus it’s not like I need to add rear cargo. You try typing when you’re being fondled, I have a hard enough time staying on task without diversions.

Yes, and no I was off task. I paid off my last Victoria Secret bill with sadness and began looking for a new brassiere. Last Friday in the mail I receive a check because I over paid my bill. Now I maybe wrong in my calculations, big companies do buy in bulk and therefore trim the pork off the edges of their bills, but really this is ridiculous.

Now keep in mind I am mathematically challenged being the product of the 1970’s “New Math” Fiasco. Ergo my calculations could be flawed…but not by much. Here is my estimates for Victoria’s Secret to refund my over paid bill (which I paid electronically) are as follows…

1) Envelope - .09 cents
2) Check - .12 cents
3) Office time – this is already a wash so let’s say 1 minute @ $10 an hour is .166 cents
4) Bulk postage .26 cents

Therefore Victoria’s Secret spent approximately .63 cents refunding my over payment of six cents. And I can’t even shop there anymore. If they kept my six cents maybe they could invest in someone to figure out the dimensions of a size “too big, old woman ponderous boobs” so they could keep my business. Maybe I should send them a plaster cast of Ducky’s hands.

Sith,
Cele

Talk Thursday: Colourful Celebration

This is all about me. I love COLOUR which doesn’t explain why most of my walls are white. I love Christmas lights, Christmas trees, Christmas ornaments, and Christmas cookies with lots of cream cheese frosting (hint, hint Pam.)

Saturday my mom, Pinecone, and I met in Eugene for lunch and a wee bit of Christmas shopping (which translates in to a two hour lunch and two hours of wandering around World Market in lust.) Lunch was an incredibly indulgent affair that included three glasses of non-ice tea (just for me,) two huge plates of nachos (one for me and one for mom) and lots of girl talk. The two hours in World Market included oohing and aahing over teapots, boxes of tea, assorted napkins, Cadbury chocolate, and a new entry table for my mom.

All this whiling about was to burn enough time to be able to see all the Christmas lights lit up on the 60 plus mile drive home. There is one gentleman at the eastern base of Badger Mountain (the state calls it Cougar Pass, but everyone else knows it as Badger Mountain – just saying) this man goes all out. It began with a few candy cane striped trees, now it’s a colourful Christmas wonderland. The lights go up beginning on Thanksgiving (I know this because three trees were lit that Thursday night.) Saturday night the lights were Fabulous with an incredible capital F. Walton had gone all out with five or six houses in the middle of nowhere lit bright enough to be noticed from the International Space Station.

Sunday was spent decorating the tree. It used to be our ornaments were mostly handmade and treasures from my childhood. Today I have developed a love of red and crystal. When we built our new room (Ducky calls it the Christmas room) we bought a prelit Christmas tree, the lights are all clear and frosted to which I add a string of twinkling coloured lights (for Ducky – he would like more twinkle.) My sister several years ago gave me a collection of spun glass hearts, then I bought some blown glass angels, to which my mom added three more. And what is this pre occupation with red beads? I am not partial to the colour red, but red beads on my tree – in love. Red beads in my garland – in love. Deep red or burgundy Christmas balls – frosted or satin in texture – in love. And when did this pre-occupation with garland begin? I have no clue but I spend hours putting up garland and red beads. Garland and red and beige ornaments. Garland and Christmas lights. It’s become un-proportional and I totally love it.

Over the last few holiday seasons Ducky’s aunt and uncle, Turg and Veggie (you had to be there,) have gifted us a house for a village scene. This is the first year I have put it all together (not successfully), plugged it in to watch the festive Victorian scene on my table.

The pointsettias are red, and pink, and white (and a little bruised.) The bowl of ornaments on my table are gold and green, and gorgeous reds – with yes, red beads. But the outside of my boring. No lights. No garland. And the only red beads are on the door swag. Maybe this weekend the colourful lights and cedar boughs will go up. We’ll see.

I wish you a happy, colour filled holiday season.
Sith,
Cele

Talk Thursday: The Gift

Love maybe the greatest gift a parent can give their child. It is the greatest gift we can give of ourselves to the ones that are close to us, those we share all aspects of our lives. It is love that makes the world go round, or so I have heard it said many times before.

But I believe the second greatest gift my parents ever gave me was my independence. All the while they were giving me the best of themselves they were teaching me to stand on my own two feet. To not wait for someone else to do it for me, but to jump in and do it for myself. To dare to be capable, dependable, independent not hamstrung by my gender, halted by my momentary circumstances, or stopped cold by someone else’s reality. My parents did not chain us to them through family traditions, but said to us, “You have a family now make your own traditions, rejoice in your family, and love with your whole hearts.”

Or maybe that gift was curiosity? It drives my husband crazy when he ask me a question and I run to my almanac, dictionary, or computer to find out the answer because I didn’t know when he asked. I have to know. Not to be a know it all, but because what good is this intelligence God gave me, this thirst for knowledge and understanding if I have no curiosity to learn more? I want to learn, I want to know more, I want to understand the whys and wherefores, and the what to’s. I want to know that Venus is never more than 48 degrees from the Sun. Or that Northern ocean currents runs clockwise (for the most part) and yet southern ocean currents run counter clockwise. I want to know that the group T’Pau was named after a Vulcan Princess on Star Trek, that Peter Noone named his group Herman’s Hermits, because all the good band names were taken. That David Bowie is considered the Chameleon of Rock, Jim Morrison was nicknamed the Iguana, or Marc Bolan the lead singer of T-Rex.

Could that second special gift have been the compassion for others that I feel? I remember once my father stopping to give money to a vet standing on the side of Highway 101 in Northern California, back when a homeless vet was really a homeless Vet. Today I always wonder; I maybe compassionate but I am also cautious. Or the time he stopped to pick up a hitch hiking Sailor and got mugged for the effort. He never gave up believing in people, he always seemed to put himself in their shoes. I remember my mother helping a woman down the street leave her abusive husband; I also remember not turning her back on her when she went back (she didn’t help her again, but she didn’t give up on her either.)

How do you measure the value of one gift over that of another? I’m not sure you can. What I do know is that the greatest gifts are not the ones you can hold in your hands (well unless it’s a grandchild.) They are not material in substance, nor limited in quantity, just by their quality and intent. They are not given with strings; they are given with a whole and pure heart. They are not gifts that are given with an expectant return, but are given with a thought of paying it forward. Those of us who receive these gifts incredibly blessed; those who can give those gifts of themselves are blessed even more.

Sith,
Cele

Playing for Change

This evening as I gathered music news for tomorrow's airshift, I made my usual stop at Rolling Stone's Rock Daily and found this great clip.

Ben E. King never intended to record Stand By Me the world would be a less soulful place had he not. The song paid him back by becoming his biggest hit. Stand by Me hit number one in 1961 and has long since gone gold. It reappeared in the top ten again, this time in 1986 when it was featured in the film of the same name. I think the Playing for Change version does it heart warming, toe tapping, sing a long justice. And it's a partner of RedWire. I hope you enjoy.



Sith, and toe tapping
Cele

TalkThursday: Gratitude

Talk Thursday: Gratitude

I promised this yesterday, but in the great words of Roseanne Rosanna Danna…”It’s always something.”

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Thank you for reading my words, offering me your insights, kind regards, and input. I write because, well I can, I blog because it feeds the soul. I thank you because you are awesome.

If you read me…at all, you know Monday and Tuesday were bleak days. I was down, depressed, and feeling like the world’s worst salesman. Your support is amazing. That night, I ended up working late, came home to a cold house and a warm dog. I was pissed that Lance Bass was booted before Warren Sapp, and instead turned on Soapnet to watch the day’s episode of General Hospital. Only to find that – again, the episode was stuck in automated – digital hell. Being in radio I understand automated – digital hell all too well. Instead I turned the remote over to the Hallmark Channel looking for a good Christmas movie. I love Christmas movies and luckily it was an hour into The Note starring Genie Francis, I’d been wanting to see this movie since it came out last year.

At 11:05 I climbed into the hot tub for a late night soak. The stars were brilliant, the night quiet, in one word, “awesome” in the full intent of the word. There is nothing more awe inspiring than the universe. I could lay in my hot tub for a full night under a clear sky and still not have enough time to think, relax, and rejoice.

In the grand scheme of things, I’m not much more than a mote in the eye of God (or a camel for that matter.) Barely a spark of fleeting life in the span of time. But yet, still I am. I stared to the southeast sky, through the pines, into the belt of Orion. How many gazillion people in the Northern Hemisphere, over the millennia past, have stared into Betelgeuse and contemplated the red star’s age? Its purpose? Or watched Polaris sit gleaming at the handle of Ursa Minor, then watched Cassiopeia spin on her head? In the greater scheme of things my worries and problems are not.

On this Thanksgiving I have so much for which to give thanks. I was blessed with wonderful parents who loved me, gave me the best of themselves, didn’t hold a grudge against the teen I was, and became my friend. I am thankful that while my father passed this last holiday season he still visits me in my dreams and I know he is good. I am thankful my mom is healthy, creative, and shares her time and experiences with me.

I am thankful for my first daughter who took the journey with me. She survived me and came out better. She is a better mother, a better daughter, and better person. I am blessed that she didn’t give up on me. In fact she went so far as to embrace the man who loves both her, and me, and accepts him as her dad. Then she blessed me with a grandson who is the laughter and joy of Ducky’s life and mine.

Speaking of Ducky… Wow, what a blessing to find a man among toads to share the remainder of my life. With him he brought Miseray, a wonderful girl, who grew into a delightful woman. While I doubt she will ever give me grandchild she does give me her love.

Where so many in this world are without, my life is full: full of love, joy, laughter, and give and take. I have a job that I love, that helps pay the bills, that allows me to be creative. I have a job I love in a time when others are worried about even keeping a job, that is little more than just a job. I have a boss who is my friend, appreciates and values my contributions to his business. I am lucky to work with a group of people who are talented, committed (in more ways than one), who are religiously and politically diverse and yet can hold a debate without rancor or bitterness.

My health is well, despite my five decades of decadences. And that despite those five decades of decadences I am only addicted to oxygen, chocolate, blogging, cheesecake, herbal teas, and an over the counter sleep aid.

Thankfully my parents chose to flee Los Angeles in at a time that benefited me, my personal growth, and my ability for adaptation. I am thankful my community still holds its small town charm, that I am able to live within a mile of the ocean and hear its roar from both my bed and my hot tub. I am thankful that Ducky commutes 80 miles into the valley so we can live in heaven. I love Florence, the sand dunes, the ocean, and the storms.

I am blessed with a great sister…who is still computer challenged…but she’s trying. Pinecone always seems to know when to call, what of herself to give. I am blessed with a great brother, Buddy, grew into his manhood on his own terms and knows the meaning of family. Despite where ever in the world his job has taken him, he comes home as often as he can.

My friendships are long lived and varied. I am thankful for my computer where most of my friends live. I am thankful for the friends who have come back into my life despite the distance and years past. I am thankful for my first boyfriend, Ronnie, who will always be my first love.

I am grateful to have been born American. To have been raised to believe I can be anything I want to be through hard work and perseverance. To be Quaker without persecution, and be friends with people who are Jehovah Witnesses, former Mormons, Catholics, and even Baptist. To live in an era where I can watch a nation change. To be able to speak out against what I perceive as wrongs and argue for the things I see as rights. To live in a land where I can change my mind. I am grateful I do not have an ability to hold a grudge.

I am filled with gratitude for the stars and that my stinky dog loves me.

Happy Thanksgiving
Cele

Warning…Copious Whining Ahead

I have never been one to get depressed during the holidays. No I get depressed when I can’t find something to wear, have gone through my entire wardrobe (which then lays in disarrayed on both floor and said bed,) resultantly I spend the next hour totally engrossed in self pity, crying on the bedroom floor in front of my empty closet. Weeping. Sadly. Weeping. But that is another story. I will say, before I go on to my real topic, this: If you are physically young (pre-menopause and wear a nice tidy size of say 10 or 8) and you smoke, stop now, because if you do it at menopause you are going to gain 70 pounds and are destined to find yourself weeping. Sadly. On the bedroom floor. Far too often for comfort.

Radio is a great industry, I love my job, it is creative, current, and strangely I get paid to play music while sitting in a little room all by myself. But if you are thinking of finding a career to make a living and want to enter radio, especially small town radio…Reality check! You need to be really good, a really, really wacky A – type personality (some sort of mental illness would probably help) and live in a mega city … LA… Chicago… New York. Not Florence, Oregon. And, oh by the way, I am not an A – Type personality, although my sanity has been questioned several times. Ergo, I don’t have a lot to offer my job (as in no dazzling, witty personality) and know that means I have to try to make myself indispensable – all the while knowing that no one is indispensable.

After years of hints from my boss, and I mean very gentle hints, I said last year that I’d take on some clients and work sales. It’s a way for me to make extra money. Most of my clients are area entertainment venues and troupes and not-for-profits, but my new cliental come from all walks of local business. With the down turn (isn’t that an understatement?) no one wants to advertise. Especially from me, it appears. I understand not wanting to strain your bottom line, but in a community where only one tenth (according to a recent poll) of the community shops in the historic old town area, wouldn’t that make your advertising all that more important? I mean really, attract your potential clients to your store, work to get your share of those buying dollars this holiday season.

Or say you’re selling Christmas Trees wouldn’t you consider radio, too if last year only advertise in the paper and ended up throwing over a hundred trees away? It’s Christmas, if people know you have trees at great prices their going to buy…but only if they know about it.

As you’re whining (hey, I know whining when I hear it) to your sales rep that the economy sucks and people aren’t shopping, shouldn’t you consider advertising your wares, services, and sales? Just wondering?

This morning I told our office manager that I couldn’t sell a parched man in the desert on drinking a glass of water for free. I need to be positive to sell, but in all truth my face is an open book, so when you have been telling me for months that you were advertising your Christmas Trees beginning Thanksgiving week and then say, “No we’re going with the paper, unless you’ve got a special” my face is going to drop, because I’m not good at poker. How I kept from responding, “No, you turned the Chamber Hometown Shopping special down last month”, how?

Now I am discouraged and apparently bitter. I feel like a fool trapped on a ship of nincompoops. A bad economy responds negatively to a lack of funding by becoming worse. Ergo, if you spend no money, the economy becomes more repressed, suppressed, and depressed. This holiday season please spend wisely, but none the less, spend. You can’t help me, but we can all help the economy.

Oh, and we’ll eat chocolate and douse our woes in Kahlua.

Sith,
Cele

OH, PS I will try to blog gratitude tomorrow for Talk Thursday, last week. It is such a good topic, thanks to Lynnblossom.

Talk Thursday: Why We Do What We Do

If I knew what it is I do, maybe I’d be able to tell you why. But after 52 plus years on this earth (this time around) I am still in the dark as to why I am here, what I am doing here, why I am doing it, who I am doing it with, and how much longer it will take for me to complete the whats, whys, and wherefores. Actually I had a somewhat similar conversation this evening with my mother and my grandmother at dinner. Every other Thursday night we go out to dinner, just the three of us girls.

The rules are simple.
1) We meet for dinner out every other Thursday night
2) The location changes each time
3) We rotate who selects the restaurant from the pile of names
4) No restaurant redos until all have been visited
a) this does not apply to birthdays
5) We all go dutch
a) this does not apply to birthdays
b) when it’s a birthday the person not paying is responsible for the tip

It takes about 8 months to go through the list of restaurants. My grandmother is not allowed to order Seafood Pasta of any ilk (she always is unhappy when she does.) Just about any topic is open for discussion….er except politics…for the most part. Hey, I try hard to keep my mouth shut.

Anyway, the discussion tonight came down to why we do what we do [which cracked me up because…1) I didn’t start the discussion and 2) it’s the Talk Thursday topic and I was stumped.] As I stated earlier I have no idea why I do the things I do or what they even are. But one bad habit I have had my entire life is over doing. It makes no difference what it is, I over do.

Example: why get married once when you can get divorced twice and married three times? Why? There are men out there who need to marry me and I aim to please. Well at least I did, I’m in remission at the moment.

Example: Why move one yard of gravel in one day, when there are three that need to be moved? I have a back it needs to be felt.

Example: Why burn a candle only at both ends. When the middle isn’t doing jack shit? Why? You can only sleep and watch so much TV.

So I do it all, wear myself out; get a fever; a migraine; or faint. That has always been me. When my mom and grandma arrived at the restaurant (tonight was Mexican) I had the beginnings of a headache and was taking some ibuprophen, immediately my mom asked me what I’d over done? Nothing, honest, nothing. She then proceeds to tell my grandma about the night when I was in high school that I decided to do a face plant in my soup. Why did I do a face plant in the soup? I had been over doing it, running myself down, and it was taking its toll on my body. It is a fact of me.

A fact that I come by quite naturally, my father (suffering from depression and emphysema) was notorious for over working himself because he felt good. One day of over working himself equated to a four or five day (later in life even longer) stay in bed, sleeping 23 hours a day. I kid you not. My mother herself over does it and will end up in bed with a migraine for a few day. See I come by it quite naturally. Now I give my mom credit because she has recognized this fact about herself and places limits on her activity. So why, when I said I come by over doing it naturally, was she appalled? I said I was learning by her example and backing off.

I guess the reason I do what I do, is because to do anything less wouldn’t be me. So why do you do what you do?

Talk Thursday: Second Class Citizen

I’ll begin with a warning/apology this topic could possibly make me rant, which you my dear friends will expect, but I might ramble a bit too.

Tuesday night was a momentous night, one of enlightenment, of progress, and maybe even a moment of healing and binding; a night centuries in the making. I had feared the worse, hoped for the best and was overwhelmed with the reality of Barack Obama being elected, overwhelmingly, president of the United States of America.

Growing up I was taught all Americans are equal. I believed this blindly, with all my heart, for all people. Slowly I saw the reality, yes in a perfect world all Americans are created equal, unless you were brown, black, poor, rich, smart, dumb, or any combination in between. As I learned in high school about the Indian Caste System the truth before my eyes saw showed that the American Caste System, was silently worse. We heard equality out of one side of the mouth, and bigotry out of the other.

Tuesday night, was another step in erasing part of those lines of distinction. Only to find another thrown up in the faces of those who believe and those who know the reality of being a second class citizen in an American class world. As we watched the hatred and fear of California’s measure eight pass, narrowly, but pass all the same I was chatting on the phone with my mother. I’ve always known she’s Republican, but I had always believed her to be a smart woman, a woman of her own mind. She taught me to believe in and practice fairness and equality. To believe that in a man’s world I was equal and could be what ever I wanted to be with hard work. The woman who taught me that I, and I alone, am responsible for my body, for the choices I make, and for the path that I choose to walk.

I believed her to be the wisest woman who walked through what life gave her with honor and wisdom. And then Tuesday night I couldn’t ignore the signs anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my mom, she’s my friend, and damn if it wasn’t for all the things she instilled in me, well I’d be someone else and I tend to like the person I am. But in her seventh decade she is choosing to show and practice ignorance. She in spirit and belief backs the inequality and hatred of Measure eight. And worse she is backing it in ignorance.

Let me explain further. She believes a civil marriage is enough for two people who love each other… if they are of the same sex. Yes she knows being gay is biological, but a marriage should be between a man and a woman and the constitution should not be changed to allow a marriage between two people of the same sex. And worse she qualified her arguments against same sex marriage by arguing, if the constitution was changed to allow same sex marriage what Constitutional line would be crossed next? Polygamy?

Now I know people educated on any one of these arguments will see the multitude of flaws in my mom’s 1) arguments 2) knowledge 3) qualifications of her beliefs and arguments. But now I have a quandary do I explain to her that marriage is not a right granted or defined IN the Constitution? Do I explain to her again that it’s Biblical law (Leviticus 20:13 to be exact) as laid out to the rabbis that she is confusing with the American Constitution? Do I explain to her that it was she who taught me all men are equals…and that it says nothing about women – but she read between the lines to instill in me I am an equal.

I really shouldn’t be too surprised, at one time I had a LONG conversation with her about homosexuals. At the time she believed it was a choice, not a biological birthright. And maybe in hindsight that conversation helped her alter her beliefs. The basis of my argument, knowing my mother and the breathe of her love, was to ask her, “What? You could spend eighteen years pouring all your love, belief, and faith in to your child; dote and instill the best that you have to give of yourself, and then turn your back because they were born gay? Could you? Could you throw away the best eighteen years of your life because of a birthright?”

She couldn’t answer me and our conversations on the subject changed after that. Or I thought they had. Thomas Jefferson so eloquently said (232 years ago) that “All men are created equal” and yet 232 years later people are still fighting to enslave some people in a second class caste of difference.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt so wisely said (on a very different topic) “There is nothing to fear but fear itself” he was wrong, we should always fear hatred and chosen ignorance.

Cele

A Time of Change

There are moments in each of our lives that we remember back and can say, “I remember when I heard JFK. Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., and John Lennon had been killed. I was….” Those were moments of sorrow and loss. Tonight is a moment of joy and hope, but one of those moments that will live in the hearts and memories of many Americans. When I am eleventy eleven I will be able to say, “I remember the exact moment, listening to Barack Obama give his first speech, the night he was elected to the Presidency of America. I was in awe and listened to the voice of change with tears streaming down my face, emotion in my heart, and hope in my soul. I remember.”
YES WE CAN!

Sith

Cele

Get Out The Vote

It is finally here, thank goodness, I’m tired of the years long, contentious, bickering, slandering, throw the American people under the train, it’s all for the party political season. My leanings and support of Barack Obama (even though I continually slaughter his name) are no secret. For the most part he has run a clean campaign, a fact for which I am grateful.

Being an Oregonian I voted several days ago, I adore mail in elections. I am glad to see that more and more states are moving towards extended voting periods. To all those who think their voice doesn’t count, shut up and think again. Get out and vote.

If you have exercised your right to vote, I thank you. If you haven’t, please do it now. In the future use a paper ballot, it’s your right, request it. While I doubt the all of the conspiracy theories out there about how elections are being stolen, I do believe there is a strong basis of fact to the theories. I just don’t believe all the theories. Today will be a test; tonight will be telling. And I’m curious why there hasn’t been a big out cry in the courts if there is such strong evidence. But I do advocate paper ballots as a way to make sure that your vote isn’t stolen by electronic polling machines. Maybe the entire country should do it like Wilton, New Hampshire where votes are hand counted, visually certified, and butt protected in a four person process to protect from election fraud.

Please get out and vote.
Sith,
Cele

Talk Thursday: All Hallow's Eve

Haunts and Howls

No moon walks the autumn sky
Where scattered leaves
On night winds fly.
Black cats slink and walk the dark
Espying kids
Their hallowed lark.
Pumpkins watch on darkened stoops
A solemn owl
From a pine tree hoots.
Haunts and howls,
And things that scream
Lurk about at Halloween.
Witched decked in dark and black
Go door to door
for their midnight snack.
Pirates swagger,monsters growl,
from house to house
They are on the prowl.
Ghost and goblins fly the night
And little kids
are dressed for fright.
At each door Begging tricks or treats
Little ghosties
Hunt Halloween sweets.

© 29 October 2008 Calista Cates-Stanturf

Talk Thursday: Soothing Naturals

It’s been one of those life times this week, but that’s another blog. Thursday nights begin with dinner out, one week with my mother and grandmother, the next with my girlfriend Leigh. Tonight it was Italian with my mom and grandmother; Leigh had clients. Ducky spends Thursday nights in the Valley.

We met at six at 1258 Ristorante on Bay Street, formerly a small pizza shop, 1258 offers two small menus: one pasta, the other pizzas. Tonight it was baked lasagna for two of us; my grandmother had seafood pasta. First the noodles were uneven (don’t ask). Then there were only three scallops, and three prawns in the mix (okay so that might be a legitimate gripe.) Then it was too hot, the breeze was cold (reasonable gripe, I got up and close the window.) Then for dessert we split a slice of chocolate cheesecake (divine.) Grandma doesn’t like cheesecake. Who knew?

Fog hung in thick patches along Bay Street as we parted way and drove in opposite directions for home. The just past full, the moon’s light brightened the night air, above the fog stars twinkled in the October sky. It’s been a while since I pulled out my suit and slipped into the hot tub, but tonight was the night. Walking on to the deck in the dark I could see the fog over the gate. Stepping out onto the steps I was suddenly drenched in moonlight. Hot, bubbling water beckoned; stepping over the edge of the tub I let myself sink into the warmth. I closed my eyes and let the peace wash over me, silent peace accented by the bubbling water that enveloped me.

Stars above the trees winkled through the fog at me. The bright moon illuminated the fog and air. I was at peace. Within ten minutes I began sweating away the poisons in my system. Fifteen minutes and my legs and feet floated up to the top of the water carefree. Twenty minutes later the soothing water had naturally erased the stress and strain of my week.

What do people do without a hot tub?

Sith,
Cele

Women for McCain

Yes I know it's Thursday, and a naturally soothing thought will come to me... but first a word from our sponsor. And then if I can still speak...er I mean think, I'll write My Talk Thursday blog.



I want to know how they did this straight faced?

Brought to you by satrical/political humorist Katie Halper at 23/6

20 Questions Meme

I got tagged by (but not really, but sort of) Steve over at Heterosexually Challenged


The rules of the game:


RULE #1 : People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 : Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.


Questions:

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Life goes on, after three marriages, two divorces, and numerous relationships I have to ask, “What is betrayed? And who hasn’t been betrayed on one level or another?” I’m sure I would cry, I’m sure I would over think the situation. And then hopefully I would ask myself, “What the heck does this mean to me? How does it change my life? And does it really?” Human is as human does. I don’t hold grudges. So I think I would learn the lessons, deal with it, and move on.


2. If you have a dream you’d like to come true, what is it?
Hmmm let’s see. A smart person in the White House this November. World Peace. And solvency without fear.


3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
No one’s. Life has a lot of mistakes get over it.


4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Pay off my kid’s student loans, pay off my house, give money to those I love, donate, donate, donate, and save for a rainy day.


5. Will your best friend always be your best friend?
Hmmm, Yes, I have a lot of best friends.


6. Have you ever been in love with two people at once?
No.


7. How long would you wait for someone you really loved?
Forever.


8. If you won the lottery, would you quit your job?
No, I love my job, but I might take a long vacation at the beginning of baseball season. Say about six months.

9. Who is on your celebrity top 5…you know, the ones…that if you ever had an opportunity…
Sex is not an issue with me, I’ve never been into one night stands. I need longevity. And personality and heart play a large part in my attraction—not so much looks.
But, in playing the game… Appealing in a strange way… hmmmm.







Sam Elliot (his voice could send me over the moon—with toes curled)





Bradley Whitford






Jason Cole







Oded Fehr (with tats perferrably)

Ben Browder

Sam Elliot, Bradley Whitford, Jason Cole, Oded Fehr, and Ben Browder

10. What sucks the life out of you?
Hatred, bigotry, and whiney people who think they are owed.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
Still married, happily in love and lust. Happily growing my flowers. Financially solvent. Connected to the people I love, respect, and cherish with a back-at-cha. Still working in a growing radio station and valued.

12. What’s your greatest fear/phobia?
Snakes

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
A delightful gentleman, who is still finding his way and his comfort zone. But he’s young, give him time I have faith.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
I would rather be loved and valued.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Close them and roll over hoping I can go back to sleep

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Positively

17. Is your career vitally important to you?
Career and job for me are one in the same. Yes.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing someone has done?
Forgive…yes, Forget…..never (but it’s importance diminishes with time, I don’t hord sorrow and wrongs.)

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
Relationship is important, but I can live by myself.

20. List 6 people to tag:
You, and you. Oh and then that one over there, and him too. Oh her and of course her. There, my work here is done.

Talk Thursday: Joys of Autumn

Folige red, and gold

cascades, silent, downward falls

to the forest floor.

© 2002