Thursday, March 25, 2010

Talk Thursday: It Was The Best of Times… It Was The Worst Of Times

If you haven’t noticed how really fast time flies, well then you are either pretty young, or live perpetually “in the moment.” I’m over half way through my life, if my life line runs true to form, and parts of me think that is far too long, and the other parts think "Crap!" it’s not near long enough. Thank heavens I believe in reincarnation.

It was like yesterday the first time I said, “I remember about twenty years ago, when…” What I don’t remember is “the what” I was remembering about at the time; what I do remember was stopping in my tracks, mid sentence, and laughing out loud at the moment. Now I remember back over twenty one years ago (at least two decades since the first time I said “I remember about twenty years ago…”) I long knew there was something a matter in my marriage, I didn’t know the what. I didn’t know it wasn’t repairable, because it apparently had never been right in the first place, to become broken in the second.

All I knew was that I had been happy and in love, sadly he was neither and he told me so one Sunday afternoon. It had to have been bad; he interrupted a 49’ners game to tell me so and then left. I don’t remember where Psam was; I just know she wasn’t at home. I left the potato salad on the counter and walked west to the dune and sat down and cried.

For days, about three, I cried. And then he came back and told me, and I quote, “I think I made a mistake.”

“Yeah, you did, live with it.” If I was so devastated, and I was he’d just ruined my mine and Psam’s lives, why did I say that back to him? Because I knew that I could remain married to him but wonder forever more when he was going to walk out on me again. I could have dealt with an affair. There are myriad reasons for an affair. But for not loving a person, there is only one.

He was nice enough to deed over the house so Psam and I weren’t out on the street. I think it was a guilt move, but I’ll take it. In her early teens at the break-up, Psam was going through the changes and challenges of life that only a teenage girl can endure…along with her mom. But even more so she was there for me.

In the years between 2-X and Ducky, Psam and I we grew, endured, and triumphed. I worked three jobs, and she got her first. A friend of mine lent us her time-share in Reno and we made a week of it. I taught her to drive; she actually learned. I’d get a boyfriend and she’d beat his ass at chess (oh, crap the temper tantrum he threw.) She discovered boys that she didn’t want to beat up and her fingernails (she’d change the color every day – no lie); I’d find another boyfriend (yes, I was that crappy a mother.)

While I love my husband and life now, I could easily go back and relive those years when it was just Psam and I, maybe without the boyfriends. Because really, while for most it would have been the worst of times…remember there was a heart rending divorce in there, the truth of it all… it was the best of times.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring, Spring, Spring

Did I mention it’s Spring? In the last few days (four days since Saturday, March 20th) we have had two inches of rain and three days of sunshine. My tulips are coming alive.

Each day I look at my lilly garden and wait in anticipation of what will become, just as the tulips raise their heads. I should have planted more daffodils. Next year for certain.

My flowers give me immense joy. Much needed in this time of political turmoil.

Does it seem to you like the rhetoric has been dialed up again, just when you thought it not possible? Crips, making it possible for everyone to afford medical care and insurance has cause a political out cry that makes me want to puke. And of course the media jumps on. First off I do not believe I am entitled. No, no way, fuck off. Do I believe my health care should cost less than my house payment? Yes, I do. I don’t believe that means I feel entitled, I think it believes I am willing to pay my fair share. Just please make it affordable.

If I listen to the Republican rhetoric I would believe that we are now going to hell in a hand basket and that Americans are OUTRAGED AND MAD AS HELL. Excuse me, the Republican barometer of all things good and bad… the Dow was up 103 points today. Money talks.

Thanks to the Republican rhetoric I would believe that all Americans are anti health care reform and furious that the Democratic demons have bucked the system, ignored the majority consensus and ploughed headstrong in to unwanted territory. Not. The Wall Street Journal does report that the margins are close 46 to 45 percent, and the remaining 9 percent are unsure. That means 55 percent of Americans aren’t mad as hell while thinking the Democratic demons are bucking the system. It means nine percent aren’t sure, don’t know enough, or don’t care enough they go with the flow.

USA Today / Gallup poll cites 49 percent of Americans think the health care reform bill is a “good thing” while 40 percent described their reaction to the bill’s passage as “angry” or “disappointed.”

And a CBS poll cited by Plumline says the health care reform bill doesn’t go far enough. Now yes, there are margins of error in all polls,

but I’ve not seen a poll that shows the majority of Americans are mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.

So I say, let’s see how it goes, give the powers that be the chance to make it work. The last administration had eight years to make their mark. They did. Now let’s let this one do it’s job.

I’ll grow more flowers in the mean time. And for my dear friend Fii, here's my first Woodpecker of 2010.. show me yours



Friday, March 19, 2010

Happy Birthday from Burp... the musical!

Back in February I told you Burp had called me for my birthday.
I took my cellphone into the studio and saved this recording.

I can't get enough of it.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Talk Thursday: Blogging?

Sadly, no I’ve not been blogging. It hasn’t been for the lack of desire, it has been for the lack of inspiration. Over two weeks ago I began a blog about looking back into Ducky’s family history… complete with pictures. It apparently is still in the draft stages.

Oh, crap. That was several weeks ago, because two weeks ago I took all the pictures for a blog about the Florence Home and Garden Show. Those pictures are still in my camera. Blog not written.

I bought this kewl secretary (Ashley and awesome) for a steal during the radio auction. I let it sit for a few weeks before deciding what to put into it. I opted for my china cocoa set that has been handed down from generation to generation. I photographed it for insurance purposes, because you know I really should do it and my china too. Ducky added his own touches to the display.

So WTF have I been doing with my time? Well let me tell you – I threw my back out. I worked in the garden. Tripped over the dog aka my black - can't be seen in the dark, 93 pound - speed bump and whacked my back more. It’s either that or I ruptured my spleen. Is your spleen towards the back in the left side? What ever it is it friggin’ hurts. Going to my chiropractor did not help. He did say no yoga. Frick. I have been watching a lot of the Housewives of this and that American burg. They make me feel really good about my boring, non-complicated, salt of the earth life. See I’ve been doing nothing, they have inspired me to nothingness. Hopeless. I need to get a life.

But really nothing has been going on. I’m dying to get out in my garden for more than two hours on a Saturday afternoon. I am itching to replace the plants that have died and do something better. I am not itching to pick up the courtyard pavers I laid two years ago and put them in correctly, but I will be doing that this summer. I even may possibly add a new paver style patio in our over grown, windy back yard.

I will leave your with a few pictures of my garden that I took today… which now means
The pictures from the Home and Garden Show are on my computer – I guess I need to be inspired to write another blog.


Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Talk Thursday - What Brings Me To Pieces; What Brings Me To Peace

It finally hit me today, something that pissed me off, so incredibly much that I wanted to scream at the world. Supposed Christian’s picketing the funeral of a fallen solder. How insensitive and base can a person get? Let alone a person who is supposed to live their life based on Christian morals? I DON’T FUCKING GET IT. Well there goes my attempt to keep from cussing.

Yes, I believe in God. The Bible has a lot of history, a lot of parables, a multitude of psalms, and oh those pesky rules and laws. To borrow a line from Scrooge, “Bah Humbug.” I don’t believe in the Bible as the word of God… “just because it tells me so.” I’m sorry, I don’t – can I point to contradictions and reasons why I don’t, you bet. But I do believe in your right to do so. But if you do, please, don’t pick and choose the parts you want to live by, the parts you don’t, and then yell at the top of your lungs hateful, insightful, condemning, ignorant things (that break a whole gob of rules.) If you’re going to live by the law of the Bible, abide it. And yes I know I’m going to hell because I have a tattoo, news flash I’m getting another one shortly. If your God sends me to hell because of it, well news flash, I don’t believe in hell. My God has more important things to worry about I’m sure. I’ve been here before, in the words of McArthur and Arnold, “I’ll be back.”

What gives these people the right to intrude upon a family’s grief? Not a thing beyond their self-righteous indignation. They believe God has enough free time on his hands to hate, to let people die because of hate, to do things to people because they dare to be, and to have chosen us and place our issues above anyone else in the world. Get over yourselves because if you’re living by the edict of the Bible the chosen were Jewish, lived in a hot barren hell-hole and definitely were not American. Get over yourselves, get over your “interpretations” and live your life, not someone else’s. Get over your hatred – hatreds based on pure ignorance.

Next put yourself into a grieving mother’s sorrow, a mourning father’s grief and live a moment in their shoes. Would you accept some atheist zealot screaming indignant epitaphs during your hour of sorrow because you choose to believe? Na, na, na, don’t get self-righteous put yourself in their shoes and then get over yourself.

What brings me peace? The universe. Knowing there are good people, good powers, good intentions in the universe that will stand in the face of insanity and find peace. I am glad I am graced with the intelligence to want to learn what I do not understand, to conquer ignorance, and to live in harmony.


Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Talk Thursday: For Your Consideration

Six years ago Janet Jackson’s “Nipplegale” rocked the world and resulted in a $550,000 fine levied by the Federal Communications Commission against CBS. Today they are still arguing the fine points, and again the appealed fine is being scrutinized. We gained a new word, no not Nipplegate, we gained the phrase Wardrobe Malfunction. And that half a million plus fine, well consider this: A 30 second Superbowl commercial (remember Nipplegates’ famous wardrobe malfunction happened during the 2004 Superbowl) cost just over $2 Million. Consider this: While Nipplegate has ignited conversations around the watercooler, the dinner table, and in the tabloid aisle at the grocery store, CBS lost a mere 12 seconds of advertising revenue.

Republicans are arguing that American’s don’t want health care reform. Because I don’t know this as a fact, but considering most bankers (and I mean CEO golden parachute bankers) are Republican, I’m going out on a limb to believe that most Insurance CEOs are Republican too. Crap, you know the CEOs of Pharmaceutical companies hail the great White Elephant. So it’s comes as no surprise that Republicans are against Health Care Reform. It’s not your general practitioners that are making the big bucks, no they have a practice to fund. It’s not “most” hospitals that rake in the big profits, unless you consider Sacred Heart River Bend who features a million dollar fire place in a hospital that is so big they regularly misplace patients.

Sadly your health care is being run by HMO’s, not your doctor… and there are people out there making big money by making sure you can’t own your own health. Sadly 62 percent of bankruptcies in America are medical related. While insurance companies that layer blue sky percentage onto your health care cost are raking in billions in profits they are crying poor mouth and raising your insurance rates as much at 39 percent. Consider this Wellpoint/Blue Cross / Anthem raised rates 39 percent, while in the same breathe they claimed a 4.75 billion dollar profit this year. But hey, the system isn’t broken unless you’re the questionably-insured.

Consider this: If you live on the Oregon Coast and a devastating 8.8 earthquake hits Chile, someone from Nebraska will call your listener because a Tsunami is going to hit the Oregon Coast. While it could happen - it isn’t, it didn’t, it wasn’t going to happen. I must have answered 26 phone calls (this morning – yes I wrote this blog that long ago) Saturday morning from the headless chicken republic. I’m betting the police chief and mayor answered even more. Why am I betting that? Because I interviewed the Police Chief aka “Maury” on the air, and got a thank you phone call from the Mayor aka “Phil”, there after saying thank you.

And on top of all that stuff, consider this… someone had to invent the paper clip!