Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween

I adore Halloween and every year Burp and I have a ritual, we go to Fred Meyers on the Saturday before where he does the cake walk and then decorates cupcakes or a cake. This year... the pumpkin patch cake.

I love to carve pumpkins, this year I got only one, but still fun.

Next year I'm getting a fog machine and a cauldern.

Our first Trick or Treaters (or as I say, "Tricker Treaters")

Ducky has to count each and every ghostie, ghoulie and little ladybug and Pooh bee.

The Final Tally for 2010 despite a light rain....83.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Talk Thursday: Things That Make Me Go, “Hmmmmmm?!.”

☼ The cure to a Gummy Bear addiction is not a twelve- step program. No, no it’s a five-dollar bag of Halloween Tootsie candies.

☼ I am addicted to trashy TV. I disgust, even, myself with this reality. For so long I lived in peaceful ignorance that Real Housewives trod the backs of their Real Housewives counterparts (who may or may not actually be, have been, or will ever be married if bitch factor has anything to do with it) with five-inch stilettos and really primpy princess tacky satins. Forever I am to wonder if they truly believe all their collagen puffer fish lips look sexy. It’s the uni-brow of lip looks, it makes me realize that the person who invented the lip liner was a psychic.

♥ Oh mi god, Swamp People are interesting. One they get to hunt gators all day long, get paid to do it several times over and can even wax poetic about gators. The down side they live in snake infested swamps. Wait, that’s all I have to say.

♥ Ice Road Truckers drive the Himalayas - that is when the Dalton isn’t frozen. Things I have learned 1) There are no driving laws in India 2) You never initiate passing another vehicle in India unless you are on a blind curve 3) If there are traffic laws enforcement is afraid of mob rule 4) ergo, the redundant - there are no driving laws in India 5) I will never go to India – snakes and bad driving.

♥ Dual Survival is on hiatus…. No I want my Dave and Cody back. Haven’t seen it? Dude you don’t know what you’re missing. I have learned sooooo much from this show, beginning with, “Respect Diversity.” Oh wait I knew that, it just makes me honor it more. And two if I am ever lost in the woods I might be able to make myself a passable structure for the night and on a good dry night with the planets in proper alignment, I think I can make fire with a Bic lighter.

♥ Survivor, only idiots and hateful people go on Survivor. Most can not make a passable shelter by themselves (or in a group and if they do they stop at one because why be sensible) nor can they make fire – except on two occasions – without their Bic lighter, flint and a metal sharp object. Oh, and they have lots of snakes (both in the game and out.) Hateful people have made me quit watching Survivor on several seasons, Big Brother and Amazing Race all together. Hate hate hate.

♥ Other reality shows that I watch…. Dancing With The Stars, American Idol, Matchmaker Millionaire aka you can put mega money in their pockets but dude you’re still a loser jerk, and my absolute fav, So You Think You Can Dance. I’m sure the moment I print this I will think of more shows I should have added…

♥ Ack!!!! Like Deadliest Catches, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, American Pickers, Pawnstars, Undercover Boss, and Mythbusters. See, it’s an endless list of characters and learning opportunities.

☼ What makes me really go huhhhh? Not hmmmm, but a big WTF Huh? Situation comedies. Two and a Half Men? What is it with people who love tv shows that put each other down? Degrading. With that said, I ♥♥♥♥ Big Bang Theory ♥♥♥♥ (my favorite can not miss show) from the opening show of season one when no one watched. I ADORE THIS SHOW. ♥♥♥ Castle ♥♥♥ what more can you say? ♥♥ NCIS ♥♥. And finally, ♥ Eureka ♥ That’s it. Everything else is on cable and reality.

☼ If I clean the bathroom sink several things are inevitable and all will make me do the physical version of hmmmm, which is shaking my head and intoning, “WTF?!.” 1) Despite the whole open sink area in front of the faucet my husband will brush, rinse and then spit over top the faucet. 2) Despite the fact a wash cloth and hand towel (with no apparent purpose in reality) sit on the counter, he will fail to see or clean up the water dripped all over after washing his hands. (And yes I count my blessings that two out of three husbands are known hand washers) 3) in the face of all evidence to the contrary (please realize the blessing you have receive with no accompanying photos) that he does not rinse out his toothbrush well enough, he will loudly complain that his medicine cabinet is disgusting where he puts his toothbrush. “Why doesn’t it happen on your side?”

☼ If I clean the bathroom floor Burp will come pee all over the toilet. Is that an Aspie trait? I absolutely adore my grandson, but honestly the things that I discover are his traits in all truth make me scratch my head… forget the hmmm. Make him clean it up - no problem it just doesn’t deter him. Mass sympathy and sorrow for his mom’s frustration and her bathroom, please.

Okay that is it for now. I think. I’m sure as soon as I hit the publish button all sorts of hmmms will hit my forethoughts. Hmmm, don’t cha think?

Oh Oh and I miss my favorite bloggers, they all seem to be on hiatus. It must be October ennui. Seriously a major ailment of autumn darkened north Americans.

☼ Oh mega crap, things that make me go, HMMMMMM! Americans in general and the Democratic Party in specific. I know, I’m an Independent registered Republican. But really folks, have guts, have patience. Go Shopping, help the economy, but do not think just because you voted for change it will happen yesterday. We, and the world, suffered a major recession you don’t snap back with a wish and a word. Healing takes time, give it five years before you start bitching things aren’t (I love my auto correct wants me to write isn’t instead of aren’t) fixed yet.

And a special note to my friends and family, I won’t have much longer I now have Charter so please change my email ending to and voila’ you’ll find me.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Talk Thursday: No Mea Culpa This Time Boyo!

The sky just opened up with the biggest plopt! plopping of raindrops upon my roof. I’ve been waiting for this seemingly for days. Mother nature and the seasons are bringing back autumn for a full onslaught engagement. I am missing tonight’s full moon, I can not see Jupiter hanging brilliant below, but I can hear mother nature drumming upon my roof the rhythmic soothing sounds of rains. Oh how I love the rain, soon the winds will begin to howl from the southwest and beat down the remaining sodden blooms and perky weeds in my garden before they all go to sleep.

But even the autumn storms have a symmetric beauty as pressure systems, wind, and moisture do their mating dance over the Pacific Ocean.

For those of you who’d like it in color… voila and thank you to the National Weather Service
whom without this post would be colorless. And since I’ve little to Mea Culpa since the last time I poured out my hear in a Talk Thursday Mea Culpa, I will just go splash in a puddle or two thank you very much.

Happy Autumn,

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I'm Not Ready

I am not ready. I’m not, we are barely past summer, the stores are pushing their Halloween wares and Christmas is being shoved down our throats… already. I’m just not ready. I usually put up my door witch the first of October. Haven’t done it. My Boo flag goes up around the same time, except this year in a flight of Duck Football frenzy I hung my Oregon Duck flag. In the true sport fanatic mode, I’m afraid if I change out my flag I will forever damn my Ducks to defeat.

For the first time in 115 years of Oregon Football they are number one. That (historically) can’t last. The last time the Ducks made it all the way to number two, they died, dropped the ball, gave up the ghost, lost their football asses. They had followed that pattern set in the weeks prior by each number two ranked team falling in their respective so close to the top of the polls glory. Ergo, two weeks ago Alabama was number one they fell to Auburn. Last week Ohio State (my cousin’s team) fell to Nebraska. I really didn’t see that one coming. Thursday night my Ducks, down Kenyon Barnard and Daron Thomas will be facing UCLA. Oye!

How can I possibly take down my flag now? But if I don’t put up my Halloween stuff how can I ever make the logical jump to Thanksgiving and then on to Christmas. I’m just not ready.

I’ve not even purchased one single bite of Halloween candy – probably much to Ducky’s dismay. But my husband will survive, I am sure to buy several bags of Reese’s bars just for him. That being said I’m trying to cut sugar out of my diet. Ha ha ha, quit laughing at me. If there is a twelve step plan for Gummy Bear addiction please send the info my way. PULEEEASE! Today is apparently the day of digressions… back to the Trick or Treat dilemma – I’ve no witch up, no flag up, no hand grabbing candy bowl out, no pumpkins bought for Jack-o-lanterns (but that’s not a big deal, the Great Pumpkin Giveaway is next week.) Ack! No rattling bones on my front porch light.

After the fiasco of Halloween ought nine Ben has said he’s coming down for Halloween in Florence. He will conquer the haunted yard of 2010. I’m thinking he’s not realized that Mom will have a say over a late night of trick or treating on a Sunday night.

Ducky counts the number of ghoulies and ghosties that ring our bell and then checks his numbers against the good sister, then against the nasty sister, and then against my friend Rose in PA. He neatly marks each ghosties into groups of five on a specific piece of paper (saved to examining the following year) and then drives me crazy with his incessant counting of numbers. He loves his trick or treaters.

See that all leads up to a done deal. I’m already putting Christmas music in the system. With Halloween out of the way all I will have is twenty-five days until the onslaught of Christmas music. And only four weeks to accomplish all the Christmas shopping I started way back in May. I tell you I’m just not ready.


Friday, October 15, 2010

Talk Thursday: Amidst All The Clamor

My auto correct says this should be “Amidst the entire clamor”… but I choose to believe it is a personal prospective… because amidst all the clamor this week I’ve heard few new revelations. It is political season, the time where you bitch because “Oh, mi gawd is that another Jay Bozievich ad?” Well, that is what the Jerry Rust campaign would have you ask, and they’re right, there are a lot of ads that say “Waaa, waa wa, blah blah” and not a lot more. You my dear have the right to change the channel (where you will find the same ad just beginning, just ending, or a message from their opponent.) I on the other hand have to hear the ads… ad nauseam (well that was appropriate)… can’t change the channel, can’t go outside, can’t turn it down, because I am the friggin’ DJ. And more so than that, I produced out all the Jerry Rust commercials.

Back in the seventies when I first came to Oregon Rust was a Lane County Commissioner and the bane of my father’s existence. As a small businessman the policies put forth by the commission made his planned improvements to his water system, his land, his business expensive and highly difficult to attain. Now Rust is back and he is singing a different tune, one I agree with, but he’s still Jerry Rust (a nice guy I see frequently) but I remember his past. Made worse is that his opponent; I have no argument against him siding with big timber, I am a firm believer timber is a valuable, renewable resource and Oregon is jam packed with trees that need to be harvested. We’re also jam packed with loggers who need employment. What I can’t abide is Mr. Bozievich’s adamant belief that we need to get rid of the minimum wage, let the employer decide how much (under the minimum wage and yes over it too) their employees should be paid. Note his only employee is his wife, they own a craft magazine publishing company. Plus his record as a Lane Community College Board of Directors member sucks!

Abolishment of Oregon’s minimum wage is bandied around a lot this political season. Chris Dudley, Republican candidate for governor, believes waitresses are being over paid because they make tips. Have you ever been a waitress or waitperson? Having been proven to be the world’s worst waitress let me tell you what a friggin’ hard job it is. Worse, what a thankless, back breaking, friggin’ hard job it is. Drop the minimum wage my ass, they get taxed on those tips, even when they don't get tipped. Oh wait a second, Chris Dudley, the former NBA center for the Portland Trail Blazers who now makes his living as a wealth management advisor. Excuse me, what does he know about living on a minimum wage? Granted Oregon’s is one of the highest in the nation, but crap it’s not that good of a wage? Could he live on $8.40 an hour without benefits? I hardly think so.

I am leaning towards Kitzhaber, and I’m going to base this on a few things. One my belief in the right to pay people at least a minimum wage. Two, I can remember him being a fine governor, he believes in saving Oregon’s farmlands (he’s Democrat so I imagine he’s anti logging), but beyond that I’m at a loss. I have shaken Kitzhaber’s hand before when he address the Lane Press Club during his first and second gubernatorial campaigns. He has a good shake – I guess (gosh what a sad comment on my intelligence) I’m going to have to settle on that.

Florence is small town Oregon, crap Lane County is small town Oregon. I am on a first name basis with every mayor we’ve had for probably the last thirty years. I know three of the current Lane County Commissioners, several past commissioners (one thought that I was a former crush of his from back in his Northern California teenage years – that was quite the conversation). I’ve met Peter DeFazio several times at my girl friend’s deli (he loved her Italian saugage and pepper sandwiches and pasta salad) he always has a ready smile and firm handshake, but then so do former Senator Gordon Smith and current Senator Ron Wyden (who still reminds me of a weasel in a suit, but he’s a pretty good Senator.) I have met four of the last six governors (Vic Atiyeh’s hand shake made my skin crawl – gads, and I did Neil Goldschmidt’s mother’s hair when I was in beauty college – he was really good with his mother .) And for all the media insights, hand shaking, too long news bites, and cold chicken circuit dinners I still have no clue as to how a pick a candidate, except for which one pisses me off the least.

Totally off topic, it dropped to 60 degrees this evening inside the house so I built my first fire of the season. Grab the chestnuts Christmas is just around the corner – more on that topic later.


PS Psam, Mrs. Klosterman was named Oregon’s History Teacher of the Year.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Talk Thursday: A Proclamation To The World

What on God’s Green Earth do I have to proclaim to the world? I’m fairly at peace with my existence… unless I am bitching about the amount of kindling and firewood my Grandmother goes through weekly – she goes through at least a banana box of kindling and she used (easily) four cords of wood last year. If you don’t know how much a cord is it is split wood stacked four feet wide by four feet high by eight feet long (they make travel trailers that size.) Four of them, yes it’s a renewable resource, yes I burn wood, but excuse me, four friggin’ cords and I’m the one who trudged them into her fire box each Sunday while Ducky filled her kindling boxes. Why do I do it? Because if I didn’t my mother would and that’s just wrong.

Okay, so I have nothing to proclaim except I’m a sorry excuse for a granddaughter who begrudges her 91-year-old grandmother a trailer house toasty warm at 95 degrees in summer. Don’t even ask me about her electric bill and yes, she’s got her heater on at the same time.

I need to go take Jen’s twelve-step program for becoming unattached. My life lesson is anger, and apparently I’m not learning it because I easily become annoyed. What’s that all about? I am an easygoing person, I don’t hold grudges, I love people, I love peace, I am really learning to love fishing. I love my stinky dog for Pete’s sake, and boy he stinks.

The dog, I don’t know about Pete. Why does my dog, who is allergic to grass, insist on eating grass? Why? If he doesn’t smell like doggy staph infection then he smells like doggy Cyclosporin. Neither smell good, you know how a person who took Lunesta or Ambient the night before to sleep have that chemically pungent breathe all the next day? That’s my dog… except it’s from Cyclosporin. With the onset of fall it’s now cold enough at night that I can build a fire and give him a bath without fearing he’ll catch his death of a cold. And I only burnt one cord of wood last year if you’re keeping count. Psam none, my mom none, me one – and grandma… well you heard. It would all be easier if Arlo like water, but folks this is a dog who can’t get his feet wet.

“Ooh, ooh, it’s raining outside, I’ll just poo right here on the sidewalk.” He has a whole kennel, but no he will poo on the rug in front of his crate before risk getting his paws wet. What a manly dog.

So my proclamation is that I have nothing new to proclaim, so I will reiterate what I’ve already said, many times… I love my husband, I love my daughter, I adore adore adore my grandson, I love my mother. I am blessed with a job I love, I have friends who are the most amazing and diverse people, I have a roof over my head, good food to eat, and a hat to wear when I am gardening or fishing. I just don't have enough to say or to blog about. Life is good.

ps the spiderweb was just kewl. Oh and I do love my stinky dog.