Friday, March 30, 2012

Talk Thursday: Ack! Life’s A Great Big Fur Ball ala Bill The Cat

This is personal, I’m sooooo not loving 2012. Nope, not even close. There has been nothing but havoc; total chaos; spiritual destruction, and the end of life as I’d like to know it – my quite, unassuming and peaceful life, gone – poof!

On December 28th I got my haircut and the power went out. No really the whole friggin town was pitch black. I had an hour and 45 minutes before we aired a double header basketball game, no power and a head of partially blown dry, freshly cut hair.

A harbinger of things to come. Just as I got the generator running, the power came back on, the games aired as if nothing happened… although the boy’s team got their collective butts handed to them. Hey, it’s basketball. My hair looked like I cut it with a mixer.

What ensued has been unending. January … Power outages, Frozen STLs – High Wind – Rain – Flooding – Rain …. February …. Rain – High Wind – Major Promotions – Flooding – Wind – Computer crashes …. March….Rain – Power Failures – Wind – Generator Failure – Rain – Major Promotion – Winter Storm – Winter Storm – and did I mention winter storms?

I live on the Oregon Coast where we deal with rain, copious amounts of rain, and high winds every day – but after weeks of high winds, endless rain… well no that’s not true a lot of time when it’s really windy, it’s dry. And so much chaos Yes, folks I was screaming….. ACK!!!!! With several unsavory words thrown in for spice and variety.

Now I hate to be whiny, I hate to complain, ACK!!!! I hate the word hate. Hmmm. But sometimes you just, okay I just, have to be up front about the state of my emotional frell. 2012 sucks.

You know those moments after all hell and chaos have broken loose, danced on the flower bed of your soul, wreaked their havoc upon humanity and the world and then waltzed away leaving all calm and seemingly serene in their wake? Yeah, all that calm and serenity - it’s all a front. That if it could be seen written on your forehead would read, “suckka!”

March has been nothing but broken computer equipment, a new piece of equipment, called a Barix Exstreamer 500, that has refused to work properly – and friggin snow. Snow!!!

Again, I live on the Oregon Coast, not North Dakota, not Colorado, nor Wisconsin and Pennsylvania where they deal with snow through a series of tools that blow snow, shovel snow, and deice sidewalks. No, I live on the Oregon Coast I don’t have to shovel snow, I just open my tail gate and let if flow out…. Or we use oars. But shovel, ummmm, no. I am not prepared for snow, I had to shovel the front walk at work with a dust pan… and may I take this moment to reiterate how much I hate working with lazy men? Okay, I won’t, but do you think they could… never mind.

Anyone who has satellite TV knows that snow and a dish are at opposite ends of a working dynamic. You know you’re beating hot red blood through your veins when you stand out in 31 degree weather with a broken hose, trying to wash 6 inches of snow off a 3.8 meter dish. Three times in one morning. Get rained upon, work up at the transmitter site to keep a failing generator and ergo my signal on the air, by mid day I was pulling my hair out by the roots. Along with spitting up a fur ball or four, I not only sound like Bill the Cat, but I look like him too.

2013, where art thou?

Thank you Berke Breathed, you're my hero

Friday, March 02, 2012

Talk Thursday: Turn the Car Around

First off, my husband has a commuter car; I drive a truck. Second, unless a vehicle is under construction or in for repairs why would anyone put it in the garage? A garage is for your crap – part of this might be explained by the fact that my garage is on the opposite end of my property… and house from my front door. But yeah, I park my truck under the wide open Oregon skies.

If I forget to pack something before a trip and I discover it after I turned off my block… I’m fairly certain I’m not going to turn around the car to go back and get it. I will buy it on the road or it just wasn’t that important in the first place. Yes, I will turn around if I’ve forgotten someone’s gift… especially if it’s the sole reason we’re going somewhere… and that’s all I have to say on that.

This of course does not pertain to the time we went to see Diamond Rio, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and Toby Keith. We rented a room on the edge of Eugene and were traveling up I-5 towards the Brownsville exit when I realized I’d forgotten our Oregon Jamboree tickets. Not much good to continue on when the Jamboree had long since been sold out and why buy more tickets when you already have tickets? So we turned the car around at Brownsville and returned to Eugene to retrieve the tickets. Yes, I felt pretty darmn stupid. And this is probably the reason I am anal retentive about checking my pockets and or purse for the important things like… money…. plane tickets… concert tickets… baseball tickets… drivers license…. Passport.

Before finally boarding the plane on our journey to Europe after 9-11, I would have bad dreams about making it to the gate in New York and voila no passport. Of course we didn’t fly out of New York, we didn’t even route through the Big Apple (why do they call it the big apple when they don’t grow much of anything outside of Central Park?) we flew through Seattle, but I still had bad dreams about being without my papers. Kind of like those dreams I have about opening up my mic and discovering I have no newscopy. Panic, scramble, wake up. I’m not sure I even get to punt before I wake up.

I’m notorious for planning my daily activities so as to not have to cross my path of travel, switch back to catch the next stop, or traipse from one end of Florence to the other end… a whole three miles away. This is of course to be time and energy efficient. And after all that careful planning I will fear arriving early so I will turn my truck around and cruise town to take up the time.

Sometimes ya just gotta wonder.