Wednesday, February 28, 2007

American Idol - Week Two

I am 3 for 4

What is this sass? I can’t believe it. Simon Cowell, may be a bit rough in his delivery, but he is nothing but honest in his critique of American Idol wanna be’s. And remember at this early stage of the game, 19 of them are just that, wanna be’s. Well no, that really isn’t fair or true. There are several who are total stars and will not be the American Idol 2007.

The past is a good example of this. Who the heck is Ruben Studdard, and what makes America think he’s an Idol? I mean really, “they” behind Idol boast big numbers for Ruben, but really his numbers are piddly. He hit two on the Billboard Hot 100 with Flying Without Wings in the wake of his victory and that was the best he did. And Sorry 2004, well damn he should be sorry. From that same season, which is two if you’re counting, Clay Aiken has listed in the Top Forty, Adult Contemporary, Hot Adult Contemporary Charts, and Mainstream, and while some think his popularity is waning, in truth that has yet to be seen. Then you have Kimberly Locke, her star is on the rise, each song she releases does better and is finding her landing consistently in the Adult Contemporary charts instead of the Urban or Dance Charts. Then there is Josh Gracin. Wow, what a country hottie. He is definitely the most successful of the season two finalist, including Clay and Ruben. Gracin has consistently has landed in the Hot Country Tracks top ten. From Season two Clay has sold the most, Josh has charted the best.

So what did I see last night? The boys were like hot and cold water. Beat Box Blake rocked on Virtual Insanity, the guy is definitely versatile. I wasn’t a fan of Sundance, but he made Mustang Sally ride. But then there was the hold cold side of the equation. It just didn’t’ seem like the guys learned. I mean what was Sanjaye thinking? So here is my break down and predictions for the guys…
♥ Absolutely loved Beat Box Blake
♦ Jared totally hit it with Let’s Get It On

Going this week
Sanjaye, there is no getting around it, dude sign up for American Idol camp
and I am stuck between Brandon Rogers and Nicholas Pedro (Brandon Dude what were you thinking?)

For the Girls, wow, LaKisha, Melinda, Sabrina, Stephanie, and Jordin have brought it two weeks in a row. I would vote LaKisha in right now, but Jordin touches my heart. I have to ask, Stephanie what in the hell was with that song, girl friend you are so much better. Huge improvement for Gina. So here is my breakdown…
♥ Absolutely loved Melinda
♦ LaKisah can probably do any type of song she wants

Going this week:
Alaina - honey give it up.
Antonella with Leslie and Haley vying for her slot to leave.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

American Idol week one

I never watched season one of American Idol. I have no clue what was on, it doesn’t matter I’m sure it’s not on TV now, because well it is historical fact “What Calista likes, gets the ax.”

But I did pick up the show in season two and sat in silent shock when Josh Gracin was dumped in favor of Ruben (who?), Kimberly Locke was axed in favor of Ruben (who?), and Clay Aiken came in second to Ruben WHO? Oh, the inhumanity of it all, what a joke. Season three held the totally unmemorable, but totally rebounded in season four.

Season Five, well shit folks who in Season Five hasn’t gotten a recording contract? What it is eight now out of the twelve top finalists? As a DJ I watch the Adult Contemporary, Hot Adult Contemporary, and Hot Country Tracks Charts – so I have an idea of who did what, when, and where.

Season Six has come to the watch able portion of our programming. I love the competition. I love Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson is holding his own this year, and while I think you need two positives to replace a negative Paula Abdul just doesn’t cut it for me. She may the feminine factor to the show but she ads no knowledge or usable information.

With the first week of Season Six performances in the bag, we have been shown a definite demarcation line in talent. Night one, with three exceptions for me was lack luster. I know that Sundance was a favorite, but his butchering of Night’s In White Satin found me echoing my thoughts last week, “How did he make it?” I was embarrassed for Sanjay, and I missed about three of the early performance, or I just don’t remember them to comment. But I will say standout performances from Tuesday night include:
•Phil, who despite some pitch problems, really showed me his stuff.
•Chris Slight, who I just adore
•The Other Chris, who surprised me
♥And my final choice for Tuesday night kudos – Beat Box Brandon, the guy stole the show.

Wednesday night began spectacular and divided the wanna be’s with the true stars. Someone white will be going home tonight for certain.
•Stephanie opened the show wowing the universe
•Sabrina showed how it should be done – what a great selection
•Melinda can sing, but please someone help her dress and stand
•Jordin was awesome, this girl has a future – and you can’t go wrong with Tracy Chapman
♥I was a bit worried when the announced what Lakisha would perform, wow was I wrong the girl stole the entire show from a night of incredible and forgettable performances.

My picks for going home, tonight…
Girls: Amy Krebs and Alaina Alexander (although Leslie and Nicole were pretty bad)
Guys: Paul Kim and Rudy Cardenes (I didn’t see then all so, I’m shooting in the dark)


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Conversations OVERHEARD at Dinner

Ducky is delightful. Thursday night I arrived home to a refrain of Happy Birthday at the front door. There stood Ducky with a sinfully decadent truffle chocolate cake in hand, lit by a lone tea light, singing me into the house. He is so wonderful. Because of his 80-mile commute, Ducky normally stays in town on Thursday nights, but in honor of my birthday he came home and feted me pizza and cake. Could a girl be more blessed? I don’t think so.

Last night, to make up for the pizza (which was scrumptious – I’m a connoisseur of fine pepperoni pizza) Ducky took me out to dinner at the Adobe in Yachats. Since Thursday I’d been contemplating a cup of their to die for French Onion soup and wonderful North Pacific Salad. Of course when we get there, confronted by their menu I am suddenly in fits of confusion and indecision as to what to order (except the soup – folks that is a given, others may order clam chowder, but for me it is French Onion, end of story.) Filet and skewered prawns, prime rib, north Pacific salad – oh, the temptations – I was fine until the prime rib arrived at the table next to us. Ducky thought for certain I was a goner for the prime rib and about die from whiplash when I ordered the salad not two minutes later. Folk for me that is a fast landmark decision.

On a scale of one to ten the service was a five, edging towards six and yet I still tipped twenty percent. Er, Ducky tipped twenty percent. But the dinner conversations around us were pure elevens. Ducky and I chat in polite hushed tones; I even tone down my hideous cackle of a laugh when in polite public. We can converse entire evenings at home or in non-polite company with loud and rowdy voices, but in public we are quite civil. The other important fact to note here, is Ducky has worked around pneumatic tools for more than seventeen years; I have been a DJ for the same, we both lack good hearing skills because of our jobs.

Prime rib dad and fish n’ chips daughter, approximate age 6, (daughter not dad, although you will note that will be in question momentarily) were having a nice family meal, when non-descript mom, previously unheard from, piped into the conversation with, “She looks like me, I think.” This is the second comment from the table that truly caught my attention, prime rib having been the first.

I’m thinking, What, you’ve been her mother for six years now, and it’s only come to your attention now? Really, in most families this is a bone of contention from a child’s birth. I want you to note that between the time we ordered and were served Prime rib dad and family were served, ate, tipped, and left.

Before their quiet deportation, I noted that the family was from our hometown. He, a salesman, would now be on the road to parts beyond that would require him to be gone over nights on occasion, I didn’t discern what company he worked for, I didn’t know we had companies of that breadth here. And this one final tidbit that still has me cracking up, Prime rib dad, “I like knowing I am your protector. (Imagine puffing chest here) I heard you say my name in your sleep. I like being your hero.” Silence followed from the rest of the table. I mean really what do you say to that?

“Honey, your insecurity is showing.” “Quick, run he’s going to don those darn tights and cape again.” (Served with an understanding pat on the hand) “Babe, of course you’re her hero, she’s six.”

Shortly before being served, a full 40 plus minutes after ordering, the second couple sat at the table next to us. I wrongly believed they were one of those 40 to 50 something couples that were dating. Oh they were 40 to 50ish, but they were far from dating. First she deemed they both sit on the same side of the table for the view. Okay, it was 8 o’clock on a February night, pitch black to say the least, and the whole view boils down to seagull encrusted, wet grass against a backwash of dark ocean. Oh, and the mesmerizing search light of a lone crab boat. So I wrongfully assumed sitting on the same side of the table meant the same thing as sitting in the middle of the car seat when dating. Wrong. I guess she really did want the view.

Picking up the menu they began the debate over what to have. Apparently the menu in their room included Tapi, which the regular menu does not. Bummer, I can understand their frustration, Tapi is good, but so is the Swordfish, (and the only Halibut on the menu has a crappy béarnaise sauce on it - who wants to ruin a good Halibut?) which he soon discovered on the menu with much animated delight. That is until she discovered the filet with skewered prawns.

His previous animation was nothing in comparison. In a dramatic voice that equaled a theatrical stage presentation he asked, “Oh, where?” I mean ANIMATED THEATRICAL production. I began to wonder how far he would go to impress her for a second date?

I soon came to realize (as did probably the rest of the diners in our section) that they’d actually been together for eight years, were planning a trip to Hawaii soon, that included staying in a condo with extra room. “Maybe they should invite a second couple?”

Now, I know my husband his first thought at this comment was, Hmmm, I know what he wants. Hey, Ducky has his priorities, and all thought revolves around sex, this gives tv and movie watching an interesting monologue – but I digress. I also came to realize that she was TOTALLY in charge of all the couple’s finances.

He wants to go to Mexico, she says, “But, honey we can’t afford that, we’re already going to Hawaii.”

He says, “Oh we can do it, we’ll just budget it in.”

She says she wants to buy faded clothes so they fit right in with the locals (Hawaii – because you know he won’t get his trip to Mexico) and not stand out like tourist. He wants to wear his regular, comfortable clothes and doesn’t need faded clothes to be comfortable.

He wants to put something on the credit card (it was this part of the conversation that made me realize they were well established as a co-habitating, co-financing couple) because (and I didn’t catch what it was) cost more than $100. She doesn’t want him to use the credit card, because it cost sooo much to charge and she pays it off every month.

“Those $35 finance charges kill us.” I’m thinking, Girlfriend, walk away from Capitol One.

But, HE really wants it. And he pays for everything with cash that is under $100. “Pluuuuueeeease.” WTF?

“Did you really mean I can’t go golfing tomorrow morning? I really want to golf tomorrow morning.”

“No, we can’t afford it. It’s $100 for green fees.” (I guess this is what he wanted to put on the card. So I’m thinking he really wants to go to Sandpines or Salishan, and boy, this morning was perfect for golf.)

“But I really want to go golfing. And I got a bonus I can use to pay for it.”

“Well, if you go golfing, do I get jewelry?”

In my family this is called a Sandy moment (the name of Ducky’s exwife) Ducky says she’ll get the jewelry and he still won’t get to golf.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

100 Things About Me, 2007

1) I’m not getting older, I’m getting better
2) Well, except for that weight thingie
3) Ducky says, “Yous not fat, Ewes fluffy.”
4) I sheepishly like that he says that.
5) Looking back, half a century seems like a little thing;
6) Looking forward, a half century more seems daunting, but science says it could happen
7) Why does all the energy seem to come in the first half of life,
8) When I have a ton of mountains to scale in the second half?
9) I still hate snakes
10) No I mean really, REALLY HATE snakes, they are the root of all evil
11) Oh wait, root of evil (and greed) = President Bush = snakes
12) I mean, we’re talking really evil, and arrogant
13) I’m never arrogant and I’m just occasionally evil
14) But not because I try, I think it just pops up.
15) My daughter says I have a wicked sense of humor
16) Which works well with my leave ‘Em laughing philosophy
17) Or at least leave them with a smile on their face and in their heart
18) The slut in me knows it was the girls laughing and the boys smiling.
19) I’m good.
20) I believe in reincarnation.
21) My life lesson was anger,
22) But I think I perfected the blow job while I was at it
23) I told you I am good (is that arrogant or self assured? I’m confused)
24) Just ask Ducky, and 48 ex-boy friends or husbands
25) Well no, you can only ask about 40 of the ex-boy friends and two ex husbands
26) There were those I was learning on (only one has the right to complain)
27) And then there was Scott; he doesn’t like BJs (excuse me, are you human?)
28) Yes, I remember all their names. And yeah, I know, a BJ does not a boyfriend make.
29) While I may not be proud of being fat, I am very content with my former slut status
30) I’m sure much to the horror of my siblings and parents?
31) Can you imagine the trial I was to my parents?
32) And having to have been a younger sibling couldn’t have been easy, Imagine trying to figure out what they meant by, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”
33) At fifty one I am apparently irreverent
34) I am exuberant, I try to be pert
35) And I do revere God
36) But everything else is open for debate.
37) Why? Because if you disagree or don’t know, ask questions
38) If you disagree, debate to learn or teach
39) Be willing to change your stance and accept when I’m right, or yeah wrong
40) Hey it could happen.
41) Life is far too long to be sad
42) And far too short to not be happy
43) You should love your job, I do
44) If you don’t find a new one, the money can’t be that worth it
45) You should love your mate, I do
46) Don’t let the romance go dead in your relationship
47) Romance helps keep you young
48) Go on a date, give a card just because, I do
49) Not just because today is my birthday, but that helps
50) Celebrate everyday
51) Celebrate everyone you love and adore
52) Thank God.
53) All my best friends are religious in their way, but none are religious in the same way
54) I love diversity
55) All my best friends are Aquarians or born in May (now isn’t that weird?)
56) Oh, wait, except my mom, she was born in October
57) Hmmm, I will need to rethink this
58) Okay, all my best friends were born.
59) My dad and my grandfather are my two heroes, but Anwar Sedat and Martin Luther King, Jr run a close third.
60) They were totally different, and so very much alike (my father and grandfather.)
61) My mother amazes me,
62) My daughter impresses me,
63) My grandson is my absolute joy,
64) My husband is my other half and loves me for all my faults
65) He’s my Ducky, my confidant, my very best friend
66) He mixes dip and flavored chips
67) This just grosses me out
68) I like my meat rare, his must be well done
69) I like salad, squid, and mushrooms
70) He thinks chocolate, dip, crackers, cheese are the seven food groups.
71) My breast are still perky at 51
72) If Ducky had his way there would be a picture here to prove it
73) I just lost my three best readers – hey guys wait comeback.
74) I try very hard to mend my ways
75) Some people think I am wishy washy because I chose to find the positive
76) I believe it take two positives to replace one negative,
77) With some people it take just a boatload of positives.
78) I lack self-confidence at times.
79) I will always strive to tell you the truth.
80) I may have been a slut, but I am a truthful ex-slut. - Mary Magdalene was a slut and Jesus liked her - a lot
81) See there is hope for us all, this I truly believe.
82) Oh wait; there is that irreverent thingie again.
83) Phat!
84) One really bad thing about me, well besides hating snakes, I do talk about some people behind their back, which totally places on question numbers 19 & 23, while underscoring number 13.
85) I don’t hold grudges, I just have a very long memory
86) To prove this, I do not harbor ill will against either guy who raped me
87) I do still fear one of them
88) I thought I didn’t, but he was at my 20th class reunion, I had to leave
89) Wow, I thought I was past that; now I know better. I didn’t go to my 30th reunion.
90) I use to conduct Rape Awareness classes with the Oregon State Police
91) It was a great coping and recuperative tool for myself, I hope I helped others – talk about it.
92) I have a letter of accommodation (some where) from the Oregon State Police for service during the 1996 floods.
93) Pride made me want to frame it,
94) A flaw in my memory made me forget where I put it for safekeeping.
95) I wrote letters to my loved ones for when I die someday
96) I am going bald
97) So far it doesn’t bother me…too much.
98) For all my bravado I lack self confidence – thank you ex-hubby number two
99) My internet friends are just as important as my walking world friends, maybe more so.
100) I am blessed with an abundance of love to give, love to share, and never lack.
101) I love lollipops
102) Watch this space

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Arlo The Tank

Four years ago I was mourning the loss of my beautiful Kya, a Rhodesian Ridgeback that had been my constant companion for thirteen years. During that time I knew I’d soon be seeking a new friend to fill the lonely times when Ducky was away. A friend to be lazy with, a friend to walk with, a friend to cuddle and share my popcorn with.

On April 10th 2004, my mom and I took the day off and drove the 200 miles to Ridgeway to pick up my new best friend. The breeder had named him Tank. The sort of name you might expect for a Mastiff, Bull Mastiff at that, but kind of a peculiar name for a Basset. Until you hear his story. Expected to litter on February 12th, the breeders weren’t too surprised a few night early to hear the bitch making a bit of a commotion from their family room. From the vicinity of couch interior they could hear a puppy crying. That’s right inside the couch. No that wasn’t Tank, how do I know that? Because Tank was firmly stuck in the birth canal and couldn’t come out by power of the bitch, the owner, or himself. 35 miles later the Vet unstuck him and Tank entered the world, followed by six more puppies. As you can guess he was huge from moment one.

But see, he’s so damn adorable. Oh well most of the time. He took almost four months to house-break. Ducky was almost to the breaking point. He only tried to chew up a few shoes, no bras, or furniture. But, beware the socks on your feet. To this day, three years later, he will snatch them right off your unsuspecting feet. He delights in sock snatching, which between him and the ones Ducky loses in his recliner, we are missing socks. One of his favorite things? To sit with his back to Ducky and have him rub his feet on his back. They were made for reach other.

Happy Birthday, Arlo!

Now when you stop to think that he is a normal healthy three year old Basset, I will let you in on a few…er…Basset/Arlo facts.

  • Male Bassets tend to weigh 65 to 70 pounds. Arlo weighs 83
  • All Basset Hounds KNOW they are lap dogs. Arlo is well aware of this fact.
  • Bassets do not like baths. Arlo is no exception.
  • Bassets are stinky dogs. I have a hard time smelling him, Ducky doesn’t.
  • Hounds howl – I use to have blood hound that was the definition of this hound fact. Ducky had to teach Arlo to howl. I’m jealous of this little feat, Arlo won’t sing for me.
    Bassets are just big dogs on little legs.
  • Arlo can reach almost anything on a counter you don’t want eaten.

Arlo loves ice cream on Friday nights. It maybe Saturday, but he will get ice cream.
Happy Birthday, Arlo.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Growth verses Teenage Mentality

I feel we all need to give back to not only Mother Earth as good stewards, but to our communities. Ducky is in total disagreement, which makes me wonder sometimes how we ever get along. But we do, maybe opposites do more than attract.

I am so off course.

Every other Monday evening I teach, err.. maybe that is the wrong word, advise, no that would mean they listen to instruction, okay I baby sit a bunch of teenage guys during an hour long radio program. The concept is sound. They come in 30 to 40 minutes prior to 7pm and put together their show, go on the air, and produce a 55-minute radio program. It is their show and adults beware. No topic is apparently taboo, despite station policy.

They delight in changing up their music, having no concept in genre, continuity, or well for that matter anything. So last night was a bumpy musical trip, to say the least, as we went from Hansen to Queen, to some head banging Christian group whose name has been seared from my gray matter, to Marvin Gaye and Matchbox 20 (which was totally hacked) while discussing the merits of text messaging as a form of upper intelligence communication. I would love to believe this means they are expanding their musical horizons, and knowledge, but I know better.

Much to my dismay during the whole pre Queen discussion, the ring leader choose to do what he assumes is Freddie Mercury’s persona. Why he felt it was accurate or right I’ve no idea. I was appalled. Male teenage mutants are in total disassociation with the rest of a world that does not revolve around football and high school. They’ve no idea that their preconceived notions could offend or hurt someone and are truly shocked when such a possibility is pointed out to them. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I don’t think so.

When he wasn’t doing a stereotypical Freddy Mercury impersonation, he was dissing on one of the groups mom’s for not letting her son on the internet or to My Space. He sees no recourse for his comments; my discussion surely did not phase him or make a difference in his future thought patterns. And while I believe he will grow up to be a nice, probably well mannered slop, I have to wonder how that transformation can possibly take place when I see the idiot he is at the moment.

As I grow older I look back with total shame at some things I’ve done in the past to one or two people. I’m a nice person, but there was a time when I was not. I’ve always been a crusader for the underdog. And yet I could find a person to verbally abuse. I had my “little lambs” under my wing, as my mother would say, but there would be someone I would pick on. You know someone who just didn’t quite fit in, just like me. Why, in the hell did I think that I could abuse another sweet person? Who the fuck am I? I use to get my ass kicked all over the play ground when I was a kid, people would taunt me, make fun of my name – Furby is a difficult last name to grow up with. And in my middle teens instead of sucking it in and making someone else’s life a better world because I could be a nice, loving, caring person, I was a total fucking bitch.

I’ve learned, I’ve never let go the harm I did to others. I know I have grown because of it, and I would like to get the opportunity to tell one specific person how incredibly sorry I am for my past behavior. I believe in reincarnation. We are all here for a reason, and I’m here – AGAIN - because I’ve have life lessons to fix. Okay, just one, anger, according to my numbers, but personally I think two. I needed to become a kinder, gentler being. And through that realization and discovery I know there is hope for the mutant teens out there who live in their own little galaxies. I just hope they find it before they damage the next Kip Kinkle.