Sunday, July 10, 2011

Talk Thursday: The Animal Life

We use to have a yard filled with birds of varied assortment, squirrels who chattered their fevered warnings from the bull pines as I worked in the yard, and bears. I rarely see a squirrel anymore, birds quit stopping by my yard when I quit putting out birdseed for the rats, and the bears… well a neighbor had three in her yard at dusk three nights ago. But, I now only have Arlo the retaliatory pisser.

Why does a dog have to be so contrary? He is. I can spend the day with him in the garden, I dig out the weeds, he whines. I dead head the posies, he whines. I water the plants, he whines, I squirt him with the garden hose. Hey, a girl has to have some justice in this world. The point is, while I have work in the yard to get done I make sure I take him with me.
If he were trustworthy I’d let him off leash, but the only thing I can trust him to do is wander away (quickly) and ignore my crass screaming at him as I run my fat ass down the street to catch him. Which is more fun than a girl wants to have, let me tell you.

A few weekends ago when Burp was here I didn’t let Arlo in until it was about 9:30 at night. I’d not gotten home from work until late, ergo dinner was late - I was in chat, Ducky in bed, and Burp was in his room. So I let Arlo in, give him several pieces of apple and return to chat; he promptly jumps into Ducky’s recliner and pees in it. WTF!?! Folks, this is not a first. Thank heavens I have a handy dandy little green machine or whatever the little green machine’s predecessor is called, but this isn’t suppose to be this way. I’ve never had a dog who took two years to house break and then reminds me how darm stupid I am by continually pissing on my rug or furniture. And no I can’t get rid of him, he’s family (the type I want to hide in my mom’s closet, but family none the less.)

So here I am, living in heaven with a pissy hellhound. God save me.