Talk Thursday - Where My Loyalties Lie

Have you ever noticed three is a crowd? I’ve never been able to figure it out, especially considering in the past I oft times was the leftover on the fringe of the banquet. This life long lesson has taught me well. In my circle of influence (as miniscule as it is) there is never an odd man out. I just can’t go there.

In a marriage a woman often becomes a reflection of her other half. While I’m not exactly sure how this is taught, I don’t remember the manual, I know it happens. My second husband resented that I was not my own person and told me so when he asked for a divorce. I don’t bring this up for pity, sympathy, or your “Oh, Cele I’m sorry” no I bring it up as my wake up call. While opposites attract, familiarity can and apparently does breed contempt. While I resent his destruction of my life (and me,) I am thankful for the lessons he taught me, and the eleven years (errrrr no the ten years) of our relationship that he gave me.

Over the years I have learned how to make friends, the Internet is a great conduit of friendship if you think about it. Despite hearing how people are not themselves on the net, I’ve learned that if you watch long enough you see the real person beneath and they are beautiful and human. While I have seen the bad side of some people, I’ve not seen anything on the net that is worse than is walking around in my or your everyday life. What I have seen are some really wonderful people. People, who I have embraced and have given back to me twofold in my life.

My Internet experiences have taught me to be friendly, caring, giving. But it has also taught me that I am, Me. I can be me without too much negative recourse. And damn, I like me. The work a day world wallflower blossoms into a social butterfly on the Internet. I can fly. I feed (and the “I feed” part is highly important.) I flourish.

All the while I am gathering these wonderful friends, people who accept me for me. I don’t have to turn myself into someone else, I just offer up just me: with all my flaws, all of my strong points, and my creativity.

Today I am married to a wonderful Ducky who is totally addicted to the television, the phone, chocolate, and me. I love him dearly, I reflect who he is, and he reflects who I am. He relishes that I am an Internet junkie with friends who care about me, who take of me while giving of themselves, friends who push me to succeed.

Today I strive to remain true to me. My loyalties lie with me. If I am loyal to me, I therefore am loyal to you for that is who I am.

Sith,
Cele