Thursday, February 15, 2007

100 Things About Me, 2007

1) I’m not getting older, I’m getting better
2) Well, except for that weight thingie
3) Ducky says, “Yous not fat, Ewes fluffy.”
4) I sheepishly like that he says that.
5) Looking back, half a century seems like a little thing;
6) Looking forward, a half century more seems daunting, but science says it could happen
7) Why does all the energy seem to come in the first half of life,
8) When I have a ton of mountains to scale in the second half?
9) I still hate snakes
10) No I mean really, REALLY HATE snakes, they are the root of all evil
11) Oh wait, root of evil (and greed) = President Bush = snakes
12) I mean, we’re talking really evil, and arrogant
13) I’m never arrogant and I’m just occasionally evil
14) But not because I try, I think it just pops up.
15) My daughter says I have a wicked sense of humor
16) Which works well with my leave ‘Em laughing philosophy
17) Or at least leave them with a smile on their face and in their heart
18) The slut in me knows it was the girls laughing and the boys smiling.
19) I’m good.
20) I believe in reincarnation.
21) My life lesson was anger,
22) But I think I perfected the blow job while I was at it
23) I told you I am good (is that arrogant or self assured? I’m confused)
24) Just ask Ducky, and 48 ex-boy friends or husbands
25) Well no, you can only ask about 40 of the ex-boy friends and two ex husbands
26) There were those I was learning on (only one has the right to complain)
27) And then there was Scott; he doesn’t like BJs (excuse me, are you human?)
28) Yes, I remember all their names. And yeah, I know, a BJ does not a boyfriend make.
29) While I may not be proud of being fat, I am very content with my former slut status
30) I’m sure much to the horror of my siblings and parents?
31) Can you imagine the trial I was to my parents?
32) And having to have been a younger sibling couldn’t have been easy, Imagine trying to figure out what they meant by, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”
33) At fifty one I am apparently irreverent
34) I am exuberant, I try to be pert
35) And I do revere God
36) But everything else is open for debate.
37) Why? Because if you disagree or don’t know, ask questions
38) If you disagree, debate to learn or teach
39) Be willing to change your stance and accept when I’m right, or yeah wrong
40) Hey it could happen.
41) Life is far too long to be sad
42) And far too short to not be happy
43) You should love your job, I do
44) If you don’t find a new one, the money can’t be that worth it
45) You should love your mate, I do
46) Don’t let the romance go dead in your relationship
47) Romance helps keep you young
48) Go on a date, give a card just because, I do
49) Not just because today is my birthday, but that helps
50) Celebrate everyday
51) Celebrate everyone you love and adore
52) Thank God.
53) All my best friends are religious in their way, but none are religious in the same way
54) I love diversity
55) All my best friends are Aquarians or born in May (now isn’t that weird?)
56) Oh, wait, except my mom, she was born in October
57) Hmmm, I will need to rethink this
58) Okay, all my best friends were born.
59) My dad and my grandfather are my two heroes, but Anwar Sedat and Martin Luther King, Jr run a close third.
60) They were totally different, and so very much alike (my father and grandfather.)
61) My mother amazes me,
62) My daughter impresses me,
63) My grandson is my absolute joy,
64) My husband is my other half and loves me for all my faults
65) He’s my Ducky, my confidant, my very best friend
66) He mixes dip and flavored chips
67) This just grosses me out
68) I like my meat rare, his must be well done
69) I like salad, squid, and mushrooms
70) He thinks chocolate, dip, crackers, cheese are the seven food groups.
71) My breast are still perky at 51
72) If Ducky had his way there would be a picture here to prove it
73) I just lost my three best readers – hey guys wait comeback.
74) I try very hard to mend my ways
75) Some people think I am wishy washy because I chose to find the positive
76) I believe it take two positives to replace one negative,
77) With some people it take just a boatload of positives.
78) I lack self-confidence at times.
79) I will always strive to tell you the truth.
80) I may have been a slut, but I am a truthful ex-slut. - Mary Magdalene was a slut and Jesus liked her - a lot
81) See there is hope for us all, this I truly believe.
82) Oh wait; there is that irreverent thingie again.
83) Phat!
84) One really bad thing about me, well besides hating snakes, I do talk about some people behind their back, which totally places on question numbers 19 & 23, while underscoring number 13.
85) I don’t hold grudges, I just have a very long memory
86) To prove this, I do not harbor ill will against either guy who raped me
87) I do still fear one of them
88) I thought I didn’t, but he was at my 20th class reunion, I had to leave
89) Wow, I thought I was past that; now I know better. I didn’t go to my 30th reunion.
90) I use to conduct Rape Awareness classes with the Oregon State Police
91) It was a great coping and recuperative tool for myself, I hope I helped others – talk about it.
92) I have a letter of accommodation (some where) from the Oregon State Police for service during the 1996 floods.
93) Pride made me want to frame it,
94) A flaw in my memory made me forget where I put it for safekeeping.
95) I wrote letters to my loved ones for when I die someday
96) I am going bald
97) So far it doesn’t bother me…too much.
98) For all my bravado I lack self confidence – thank you ex-hubby number two
99) My internet friends are just as important as my walking world friends, maybe more so.
100) I am blessed with an abundance of love to give, love to share, and never lack.
101) I love lollipops
102) Watch this space

4 comments:

Peggy said...

Hi Calista,

Your list is fantastic. Great job! Wow.


Peggy

Sideon said...

So much to love about this post, starting with:

-blow jobs,
-your philosophy of makin' em laugh,
-hail to the inner slut (my personal credo: 'I'm not a slut - I'm physically generous')
-blow jobs (WTF???---> to Scott)
-takes a lot of toad-kissin' to find that prince
-perky breasts
-romance
-best friends
-seven food groups
-more blow jobs
-an abundance of love

I sure as hell hope that you meant blow jobs :)

Happy Happy Birthday, Cele. Though we've not met, you are one of my favorite persons in the vast electronic experience called the World Wide Web.

If I had tequila nearby, I'd be happy to do 6-7 shots and dance on a table for ya. Not that I'm very experienced by any means. (Though it's disconcerting to wake up with money in your underwear, woo hoo!)

Hugs and love.

-Donavan

Cele said...

Peggy you have been my friend for a long time now girl friend. I am blessed with great friends. Thank you.

Sid, you are so dear to me. I will wait for that table dance, but which of us gets the shots?

Sideon said...

We'd BOTH get the shots, of course :)