Friday, January 07, 2011

Talk Thursday: Simplicity

Adore the concept; abhor the difficulty of implementing simplicity. Less is more, less is better, people each want different things and that is hard to simplify. I keep wanting a simple life, but I keep messing that part up.

I had one kid, well I was supposed to have two, but that’s another story. So simple, I had one child, but then I kept marrying other people. So her name and social security number have caused her multiple problems. I had one child, so she never got the bigger brother she wanted, for which I apologize. I had one child, whom I adore. She had one child and never got married. Smart chick.

Marriage (and therefore life there after) was suppose to be simple, you fell in love, got married, and lived happily ever after. Someone shot the guy on the white horse and substituted my first husband. Hmmm, and I think my second husband too. No one taught me marriage is hard work; I was taught anything worth having was worth working for and marriage certainly is, it took me years to realize not everyone was taught that little truism. That complicates things a bit. Hence, three husbands later….

In 1981 the second guy I married and I bought a house (before we got married as a partnership.) Now that was simple enough. Even more so is the fact that while he owned a house he didn’t’ believe in nesting or making that house better or even a home. Third husband definitely nested, believes in making a house a home, and making the house that houses the home better…. Which complicates the lazy side of me. Where I had no real furniture, there is now real furniture, real carpet, and a need to paint…again. Where there was sand blowing over rock bark and weeds, there is now a lawn, okay, two lawns, two gardens, a courtyard, an enclosed deck and peace, and beauty, and a need to weed… a lot. That’s not a bitch I love to weed for the most part. But now it’s complicated, you try fighting to keep out of your weeks a man who doesn’t know a seedling from a weed.

When I first started in radio, it was four hours a week on Sundays. We had a huge multiple reel-to-reel automation system that was a relic from decades long past. The CD player seemed such a novelty. That was twenty-one years ago. Now I’m the programming director/operations manager, the CD players are back ups for when the computerized system fails, when I need to defrag, or reboot. Instead of one AM transmitter that got turned on at sunrise and off at sunset I have an automated AM Array Transmitter that has not one but two FM translators, AND an FM station – each are governed by similar, but extremely complicated rules. Ha, I fondly remember back to when I was simply an employee.

My mother raised me to be the best I could be, to be independent, to be strong, to be true to myself, kind to all people, and to question all I did not understand. Again, simple in concept, not the easiest to execute, why do people have to be so tough? It complicates things. Once in grade school, about the fourth or fifth grade, I had a friend - Andrea. She was getting flack from other schoolmates over her weigh; defending her I got in trouble and had to miss recess for the remainder of the day, because I had been insensitive to Andrea’s weight. I’m not sure how that happened; I remember being highly offended they were picking on her about something she had no control over. Years later, when Pinecone and Butch were sophomores, Butch got his license. We lived four miles out of town and he would drive himself and Pinecone to school. I saw red when I found out he would make her duck under the dashboard if his friends were in view. WTF? (Simply put, he’s a butthead to this day.) What was so hard about the situation was the pain and embarrassment I caused Pinecone when I brought up and tried to rectify the problem . She was mortified and the problem never resolved.

Over the years, I’ve learned being a simple person is complicated merely by the fact that I am human as are most of the people around me. I don’t require a lot – love, nurturing, rain, and a good hot cup of herbal tea (this month country peach), a kiss from my husband, conversation with my daughter, a hug from grandson is all I need to be happy and at peace, if for even just a moment. But life is rarely that simply, so I cherish the moments when they happen even more, waiting for the complications to descend.



Psamanthe said...

While it's good that I haven't conned myself, or let someone else conn me, into marriage... I wouldn't say that I'm smart for not being married. As much as I hate to open up that much, I wish for the married life.... I just don't ever see myself trusting someone enough to ever go through with it. Not only that, but I am incredibly stubborn and, though I hate to admit it because I wish that it weren't true.. but, I get really bent when people don't conform to my rules.

And I know you think relationships take hard work, but if a relationship takes too much work, I get soured on it pretty damn quick and it's just not worth it to me. Life shouldn't be stress and sadness, love should make you happy... and if it doesn't, then it's not worth the time or effort...

And though that's the truth, as I see it, that's probably not a super healthy truth.... so the fact doesn't make me so smart if the reasoning for is shallow and selfserving.

Cele said...

First you've been single long enough to be set in your schedule and life, it's not that you can't blend your life and schedule into another's, you just haven't had the person in yourlife where you wanted to enough. Second, the thought of you having married sperm donor just makes my skin crawl. I am blessed and thankful that didn't happen for you.

There's no way in hell I'd call you shallow or self serving - on any front.