Saturday, October 30, 2010

Talk Thursday: Things That Make Me Go, “Hmmmmmm?!.”

☼ The cure to a Gummy Bear addiction is not a twelve- step program. No, no it’s a five-dollar bag of Halloween Tootsie candies.

☼ I am addicted to trashy TV. I disgust, even, myself with this reality. For so long I lived in peaceful ignorance that Real Housewives trod the backs of their Real Housewives counterparts (who may or may not actually be, have been, or will ever be married if bitch factor has anything to do with it) with five-inch stilettos and really primpy princess tacky satins. Forever I am to wonder if they truly believe all their collagen puffer fish lips look sexy. It’s the uni-brow of lip looks, it makes me realize that the person who invented the lip liner was a psychic.

♥ Oh mi god, Swamp People are interesting. One they get to hunt gators all day long, get paid to do it several times over and can even wax poetic about gators. The down side they live in snake infested swamps. Wait, that’s all I have to say.

♥ Ice Road Truckers drive the Himalayas - that is when the Dalton isn’t frozen. Things I have learned 1) There are no driving laws in India 2) You never initiate passing another vehicle in India unless you are on a blind curve 3) If there are traffic laws enforcement is afraid of mob rule 4) ergo, the redundant - there are no driving laws in India 5) I will never go to India – snakes and bad driving.

♥ Dual Survival is on hiatus…. No I want my Dave and Cody back. Haven’t seen it? Dude you don’t know what you’re missing. I have learned sooooo much from this show, beginning with, “Respect Diversity.” Oh wait I knew that, it just makes me honor it more. And two if I am ever lost in the woods I might be able to make myself a passable structure for the night and on a good dry night with the planets in proper alignment, I think I can make fire with a Bic lighter.

♥ Survivor, only idiots and hateful people go on Survivor. Most can not make a passable shelter by themselves (or in a group and if they do they stop at one because why be sensible) nor can they make fire – except on two occasions – without their Bic lighter, flint and a metal sharp object. Oh, and they have lots of snakes (both in the game and out.) Hateful people have made me quit watching Survivor on several seasons, Big Brother and Amazing Race all together. Hate hate hate.

♥ Other reality shows that I watch…. Dancing With The Stars, American Idol, Matchmaker Millionaire aka you can put mega money in their pockets but dude you’re still a loser jerk, and my absolute fav, So You Think You Can Dance. I’m sure the moment I print this I will think of more shows I should have added…

♥ Ack!!!! Like Deadliest Catches, Ghost Hunters, Dirty Jobs, American Pickers, Pawnstars, Undercover Boss, and Mythbusters. See, it’s an endless list of characters and learning opportunities.

☼ What makes me really go huhhhh? Not hmmmm, but a big WTF Huh? Situation comedies. Two and a Half Men? What is it with people who love tv shows that put each other down? Degrading. With that said, I ♥♥♥♥ Big Bang Theory ♥♥♥♥ (my favorite can not miss show) from the opening show of season one when no one watched. I ADORE THIS SHOW. ♥♥♥ Castle ♥♥♥ what more can you say? ♥♥ NCIS ♥♥. And finally, ♥ Eureka ♥ That’s it. Everything else is on cable and reality.

☼ If I clean the bathroom sink several things are inevitable and all will make me do the physical version of hmmmm, which is shaking my head and intoning, “WTF?!.” 1) Despite the whole open sink area in front of the faucet my husband will brush, rinse and then spit over top the faucet. 2) Despite the fact a wash cloth and hand towel (with no apparent purpose in reality) sit on the counter, he will fail to see or clean up the water dripped all over after washing his hands. (And yes I count my blessings that two out of three husbands are known hand washers) 3) in the face of all evidence to the contrary (please realize the blessing you have receive with no accompanying photos) that he does not rinse out his toothbrush well enough, he will loudly complain that his medicine cabinet is disgusting where he puts his toothbrush. “Why doesn’t it happen on your side?”

☼ If I clean the bathroom floor Burp will come pee all over the toilet. Is that an Aspie trait? I absolutely adore my grandson, but honestly the things that I discover are his traits in all truth make me scratch my head… forget the hmmm. Make him clean it up - no problem it just doesn’t deter him. Mass sympathy and sorrow for his mom’s frustration and her bathroom, please.

Okay that is it for now. I think. I’m sure as soon as I hit the publish button all sorts of hmmms will hit my forethoughts. Hmmm, don’t cha think?

Oh Oh and I miss my favorite bloggers, they all seem to be on hiatus. It must be October ennui. Seriously a major ailment of autumn darkened north Americans.

☼ Oh mega crap, things that make me go, HMMMMMM! Americans in general and the Democratic Party in specific. I know, I’m an Independent registered Republican. But really folks, have guts, have patience. Go Shopping, help the economy, but do not think just because you voted for change it will happen yesterday. We, and the world, suffered a major recession you don’t snap back with a wish and a word. Healing takes time, give it five years before you start bitching things aren’t (I love my auto correct wants me to write isn’t instead of aren’t) fixed yet.

And a special note to my friends and family, I won’t have much longer I now have Charter so please change my email ending to and voila’ you’ll find me.