Thursday, September 30, 2010

Talk Thursday: Progressions - Brought to you by the letter I

My life is a chain of events, some related, others dangle at varying angles from my experiences like the skin tags of life. Progression seems natural, frustrating, rewarding and fact. An existence made from the progressions of places; progressions of people; progressions of growth; the progression of life. They are the progressions of who I have been, am, and will become and even someday not.

This evening I stopped to read three or four progressions before continuing my own (I’d written the first few lines), because regardless that I had named the topic - I’d no idea of where I was going to go – the word had just popped in my head. But then as I chewed on the content and meaning of that one word, the enormity of what it means to me… well grew to resemble the purple fizzy I’d popped into my mouth on the girl scout camp bus once and either threatened to choke me or embarrass me in a violent purple tide of spewed foam. A progression, I’ll never do that again – and grape Fizzies, ugh. If you’ve read my blog for an amount of time you know I have a few mottos that include (not necessarily in this order… tomorrow)

1) It’s all about the journey
2) Where I’ve been is who I am
3) Appreciate, Validate, and Communicate
4) Changes daily (deep and metaphoric, and totally random in the wind)

Despite the differences in voice, I was struck by the similarities in progressions. We have good days, bad days, and choices that lead to the experiences that shape each one of us. My mother often says that my siblings and I have the same molding experiences of childhood, the memories that only we share; in truth we each see things so vastly different. We remember experiences and conversations differently, despite the fact we share them. I have a vivid memory (that has failed me on more than one occasion), but I am struck by the fact that others saw and event all so differently. Oft times that angers me, because of a petty bitterness held within by another over a perceived fault or wrong where none was intended nor offered. And then I realize it is progressions.

Don’t get me wrong, I am neither grand nor noble, I am baffled. Plus, I do not house the ability to hold a grudge – really, can’t do it (I can hold on to pain and hurt, but not a grudge.) To embrace the negative seems small to me. To hold on to a wrong or slight is futile and self-destructive. To harbor anger and abhorrence is mean spirited and/or ignorant (I fear being either.) And to not give of myself is just not right. I need give and take, a balance sheet of growth. I need to learn and alter' to bend and change with time. I need to learn to chalk up each experience good and (even more so) bad as a learning experience and get over it. Thank the universe and move on to the next question. I need the progressions of my life to take me into the next. Quit rolling your eyes – I believe in reincarnation and God, too – get over it.

We are on this plane to learn, growth, evolve, and leave. The tools and marks of the progression of time, tides, sands, winds, rains, mountains, and mankind leaving their marks on this earth, on eternity, on each being here whether acknowledge or snubbed; the progressions of me.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we got a celestial report card every few years? Find a vehicle or bill board somewhere that says? “Am I doing alright? Suck? Need help?” Call 1-800-ratealife and give us your score.

Sith,
Cele

3 comments:

Psamanthe said...

Ratealife would be good.

Sometimes anger is easier to hang on to... Anger is always there.. Anger reminds you you're alive. Anger doesn't let you down.



Though, it does make you feel like an ass at times... but that just gives another opportunity to be angry.

LynnBlossom said...

Anger can be a good thing if it propels you into action. We often need our anger to affect change.

Hostility is the negative aspect that too many people latch onto. That's the bad part of anger.

Cele said...

Psam, for me it takes too much energy to hold on to anger. Hurt is another story.

LynnBlossom, hey girlfriend glad you're back on. I was once told I was a negative person (by the same one who hurt me and I harbor anger towards) I worked hard to change that aspect of my personality.

The flip side is it makes me notice it more in others.