Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Talk Thursday: Life Altering Truths

I have always known I am loved. My parents have loved me despite my antics, rebellions, my teenage wrath and my youthful ignorance. My daughter has stuck with me with love and support through good times, thin times, bad times, parenting faux pas, and three husbands. My husband has stayed years beyond those who have left, put up with my strong will and opinionated self which he matches most of the time. I give my love with joy and accept your love in honor, with respect and stewardship.

Every person deserves love…at least at the start. A child is born – planned or not, with little expectation beyond life than to be wanted and loved, to give love, and of course there is that pesky eighteen year period of bills, the latest toys, and homework. But as a parent we usually understand what we are taking on, well at least we have a vague idea of our responsibilities. Some life starters don’t have a clue, can’t fathom how they can (for whatever reason) meet the demands of another life responsibility, or could put somebody else first before themselves and opt to give up their rights to parent – hopefully these children are adopted into welcoming families with more love than they know what to do with.

What rents my heart in to a zillion bloody unfunctioning pieces of abysmal sorrow is the knowledge that there are people (because I can’t call them parents, moms, or dads) who forsake that precious life, trample all of humanity by pimping out their five year old for their next fix, to pay their bills, or for a little extra spending cash.

The short life history of Shanyia Davis, whose “mother” pimped her out for sex is breaking my heart. I am so tired of “mothers" and "fathers” who go on TV wailing for their missing child when the whole time they are responsible, non-negotiable responsibility for the life, abuse, and destruction of a child who trusted, loved, and obeyed the authority in their life. They make it hard to believe the mothers and fathers who really are distraught over their missing child, people who have no culpability in the disappearance, abuse, death. I am non-violent, I don’t tend to believe in the death penalty, but right now I am filled with hatred and despair (emotions and judgment I am usually not wont to entertain) over this and several other HUNDRED cases just like this one. I don’t understand, I will not pretend to understand, I just want it changed. And I have no idea of how to do this.

In the Sandra Bulloch movie 28 Days the graduates of the addiction treatment center are charged with keeping a houseplant alive for a prescribed amount of months before being allowed to have a pet or a significant other in their life, if the houseplant dies, no pet, no significant other, and well no sex. Many high schools offer a class where students are required to care for a baby (a bag of flour, an egg, a whatever breakable abuseable thing) to give the potential caregiver/parent a taste of 24/7 responsibility. Isn’t it sad we don’t have some sort of litmus test in real life where a potential parent could be tested for skills of heart and humanity before being allowed to breed?

In my dismay and anger over the miss use, mistreatment, and murder of the Shanyia Davises of this world , I find that public disembowelment of any functioning reproductive system in such parents is only the beginning of a fitting punishment.

The life altering truth: Being loved and cherished isn't a given.

In Sorrow,


Anonymous said...

I'm not nearly as kind as you are, Cele. I hear these stories and my first thoughts are painful sterilization followed by death by slow torture. These kinds of people who abuse and torture and pimp out their kids are not fit for society, and I wouldn't trust putting them on a deserted island with others like them.

Scott and I have had Kevin, Jenn's four year old, running around our house the last two weeks and it has been incredible. Part of me really wishes we had kids, but the responsible parts of me know that my time for parenting has come and gone. I'd be retiring as my kid was graduating!

Big hugs to you.

Cele said...

Well I didn't think public disembowelment of your reproductive organs would be fun, but we can work to come up with something even more painful and disturbing. if you like.

You may not be a dad, but I bet there are a few youngin' that think they have the world's greatest Uncles Don and Scott. Having great uncles is just as important.

foundinidaho said...

I agree with Don. I just want to happily strangle people who have the opportunity to live with their children every day and shape their lives and do something so horrible to the contract they set with this child at birth as to be unbelievable.

I would also say Cele is right, Don, great uncles are a definite plus! Especially ones that don't have children. :)

I finally posted my contribution. Sorry I am slothfully late. You may find this to be a pattern.

Cele said...

I'm kind of boggled at how I'm being construde as believing or saying that child abusers should live, because really they should not. SHOULD NOT. RIP OUT THEIR REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM IN PUBLIC (I'm envisioning the execution of William Wallace at the hands of the British).

Don is definately star uncle quality.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

1. There's a special place in hell for people who abuse and/or murder children and animals.

2. Meanwhile, we live in country where people like myself and others, who can and would provide loving, caring homes, can't because "we're the wrong orientation." Given the track record of heterosexuals, I don't think homosexuals could do much worse and might actually do better.

3. Children are not possessions. They are gifts. If you can't handle the gift, find someone who can and give your child a chance.

4. Shanyia Davis' mother? Throw that woman in jail and throw away the key.