Thursday, March 13, 2008

Talk Thursday – The Weight of Neurosis

Cele: You know, some days I’m much thinner.
Calista: (rolls eyes) Yeah, online.
Cele: No, really, some days I feel, I don’t know, thinner. Inside.
Calista: Like Frodo and Bilbo?
Cele: No idiot, they had a ring.
Calista: Yeah and it was make believe, just like you feeling thinner “some days.”
Cele: (rolls her eyes) Oh, yeah. And you’re in touch with reality? Kind of like, how you remove jammies, pee, and THEN step on the scales?
Calista: Well it’s tare weight.
Cele: Yeah, tare weight. Then you get off, move the scale, and get back on.
Calista: Well the linoleum is un even.
Cele: Fifteen times?
Calista: Quality control. Like Olympic scoring; you throw out the high and the low scores and even it out for your total score.
Cele: Every morning? That is just fucking neurotic.
Calista: No, after all that water, rice and raisins I’ve got to find those pounds I lost, or lose the pounds I found.
Cele: At least we’re regular and our cholesterol is non-existent.
Calista: I know there is a skinny person struggling to get out. I can feel her ribs and hip bones, her flat, empty stomach.
Cele: Why, because Oprah told you so?
Calista: Hey, she’s wise.
Cele: And is that why you keep the size 8’s, 10’, 12, and 14’s of yester decade in your closet?
Calista: I’m going to lose it.
Cele: Oh, girl friend, you already lost it.
Calista: Bitch!


Anonymous said...

No, no, no... I can control myself!



Oh gawd, you crack me up!

j.m. tewkesbury said...


I'm with Sid: enjoying a good chuckle! And a twinge of empathy. Boy, can I relate. Big time!


Phoenix Touch said...


Good one C! I HATE scales. Me and them ain't friends at all!

Cele said...

You guys thank you for the chuckles, the sista sympathy, and your wonderful humor and friendship.