Thursday, August 23, 2007

Keyboard Dining

I eat at my keyboards, yes at both work and home. A Lot. So while it was frustrating to have dropped a good size lump of steamed rice and garlic from my dry sautéed green beans this afternoon, I wasn’t surprised. Better the keyboard than my white crepe blazer.

I know, I know you’re thinking, “WTF, is she doing eating anything Chinese, Italian, or Tex Mex in a white crepe blazer?” It boggles the logical mind. I on the other hand, and if you polled my boss too, find nothing unusual in that for me. Because to remove the blazer would require two things on my part; first, forethought, secondly…I forgot what the second part was, besides dropping food on my keyboard is a daily process for me.

I eat breakfast ninety-five percent of the time at my keyboard. What does this say? I need to vacation more often, vacations were designed for eating breakfast out. I eat ninety two percent of my lunches at my keyboard. I work through lunch most days. Friday nights generally find a goodly dose of ice cream drips falling along the right hand number keys towards the end of the bowl on my keyboard during chat. Happy note, Otterpops don’t tend to drip on my keyboard.

Back to the dry sautéed green beans and my dilemma as to how I might possibly get the rice out from between the keys. Of course I could shake them out, but then – wow – I lose all that rice. Can we say gluttony? And the keys will still need cleaning. And no, I’m not going to try to suck the rice off of the keyboard, because DUDE! Have you ever tried turning the keyboard upside down and shaking it out? Nasty crap Dude, highly nasty. So I took my fork and picked up as much as I possibly could using the tines, then cursed loudly at the four grains that are now stuck amid a sea of soy sauce between F5%, F6, my 7, 8 and U keys. Tiny corners of post it notes, business cards (I’ll get through that box yet), even my letter opener. Nada, they are now in bits and falling further into the plastic face.

Inserting my faithful letter opener between 7 & 8 I pop it off. And OHMIGAWD! That’s where lint is born and apparently where an ant has died, a while back. Offending rice bits removed, key wiped clean, and popped back into place. Have you ever tried to remove an F key? F4 was not a problem, except no rice had gone down there. F5 & F6 – It ain’t happin’ honey. So I ever so gently try a small corner of paper toweling in between the keys with an upward motion to get what I can. We all know that when you’re working down, and upward sweep begins with a downward poke. So pray to the rice gods for good harvest.


Sideon said...

**can't type coherently because he's still snorting and hooting and hollering with tears streaming down his face and his guts hurting from laughing and yes, he's done the flip-the-keyboard-and-shake routine, but yes, he eats his meals away from the keyboard unless it's a bagel. with cream cheese. cut in half, and cut again. asiago cheese bagel. it makes a hell of a mess**

CV Rick said...

I nearly bawled I'm laughing so hard. I'd suggest different eating habits, but then my future entertainment might suffer because there are bound to be more of these stories.

I spend most of my computer time on my laptop . . . so no eating over this thing . . . it was too expensive.

JulieAnn said...

You slayeth me...OMG. You actually MADE ME LOOK between my keyes. Ew.

JA said...

and YES that says 4:42 a.m.

Sideon said...

Round Two.


Cele said...

Sid breathe, okay I have to confess... I've never had asiago cheese, but I loves me some cream cheese and bagel, love it complete. But do you know what happens when you drip butter into a keyboard? The ants slide off inbetween F5 and F6.

Rick, my work schedule has changed, yet again... so if I don't blog while I eat... I will never have time to get through all my blog reading.

JulieAnn DO NOT LOOK BETWEEN THE KEYS. Especially if you have just eaten, are going to eat, or have a migraine....or plan to touch your keyboard ever again. Thank goodness they are relatively cheap.