Thursday, December 28, 2006

Dining On Humble Duck

I think it was in late November I challenged Bishop Rick to a friendly wager. Loser in the Las Vegas Bowl blogs for the other. I had started writing before the bowl, ripped up, deleted, erased, all in abject frustration to capture the right words and succintley place them on paper. Then the game played it self out and my blog wrote itself. I won't call either inspired.

I’m not sure which was more excruciating; watching the Ducks embarrass them selves in the Las Vegas Bowl, or wrapping Christmas presents the whole time. Both sucked, of course not as big as my Ducks did. The hot slogan of our times, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” But this was too monumental a lapse in sanity for it to remain unknown. Why? Because they aired the whole cursed, gridiron fiasco on national TV. Much to the delight of BYU fans everywhere and Bob Stoops who to this very moment is still jumping up and down yelling at the screen, “See. See. See.”

BYU’s Cougars looked great and played a great game against the scrimmage team that showed up at Sam Boyd Stadium. BYU was sharp, decisive, executing almost every play like the fine honed college athletes that they are, a testament to the quality of Mountain West Conference football. Ah, but the Cougs also had a hidden ace up their collective sleeves. A secret threat unleashed covertly upon an unsuspecting Oregon squad (long before either team hit Las Vegas.) Offensive coach Gary Crowton. Yes, an insidious plot hatched to make Nick Allioti look better (that doesn’t’ take much) and yet, despite the assistance of Crowton’s ineptitude, Allioti (and the Ducks) are still defenseless.

Mon Dieu, Cele. Boo hoo. I know you are thinking, “Cele’s a fair-weather fan.” Honey, there is no such thing as fair weather in Oregon. Just rain and wind, therefore I’m in it for the long haul. I love my Ducks, and of course, there is always next year. Mike Bellotti says he’ll be back (and despite his inability this year to pick the correct quarterback) I still like this guy. Mike, please look at your freshman quarterback and see the future of Duck Football. Its name is Nick Costa. Coach, demote Leaf and Dixon to backups, give Costa the ball and stand back.

And while I’m at it, what on God’s Green Earth were you guys thinking? Those helmets have got to go. Bring back the Mallard Green O’s (well of course they have to now, the piss yellow ones are jinxed, and we all know how superstitious athletes are.) In fact Oregon, get off the fashion wagon and play some football, who cares that you have 48 uniform combinations, you only play 12 games a season, 13 if you are (un)lucky. That means 35 of those combinations are redundant. Think of the tuitions that could be paid with the money saved on redundant uniforms, and those ugly pee yellow helmets. And the training time the team will recoup when not having to decide with uniform combination to wear. It boggles the logical mind.

To the Cougars, I wish you the best and give you kudos for a game well played. You gave your seniors (or they gave you) the final victory of their college careers. A great winning season full of happy memories to keep you warm during the long Wasatch winter.

But, next year could you please beat up on Notre Dame? And while you’re at it, cut your teeth on some Sooners. Bob Stoopes is fun to watch when he’s whining.

Now Bishop Rick is the winner of our little wager, so really the blog is his to call.



Sister Mary Lisa said...

Great post, Cele. Spoken like a true football fan. :) Sorry you lost the wager.

Jazzy said...


Sorry about the game! I didn't watch it because my kids wanted to watch cartoons. Sorry you lost the wager!

Jazzy said...


Do you mind if I link your blog on my blog?

Cele said...

I tried to reply but, you're on no-reply. Please go right a head, I would be honored for the link. Thank you for your kind words, I always enjoy reading your blog.