Talk Thursday: Slowdive – or The Fine Art of Time Miss Management

The intent of this topic totally eluded me. I thought, struggled, Googled, thought again and then I read Fii’s Talk Thursday blog for Spin. She is staggering blind in a miasma I know all too well: Crap! Where did my time go?

Easily I can say there is a minimum 9 to 10 hour day awaiting me Monday through Friday at work. My hours are forever evolving – this year it seems to be 8:30 to 5 or 5:30, or 6pm – depending on events even later. Plus I am on call 24 / 7. The length of the hours I work are my doing for the most part, yes I multi task, could you imagine the length of my day if I didn’t multi task? I literally do two airshifts at one time. I use to go to work at 4 in the morning, and I loved the morning shift – now I would hate it – at the time I was also working three jobs. My job also allows me to multi task for myself – I’m writing this while doing my airshift. It rocks. You have no idea how many times I chatted with Psam or Sid while on the air – on the station’s dime – my boss rocks.

But with those hours comes with a loss of time for me, a loss of time for Ducky, a loss of time of other vital things. Tuesday and Thursday nights are mine, Ducky is in the valley overnight taking a break from his long (160 mile round trip) commute. He gets the rest of my time, well the parts that aren’t claimed by work or my garden.

For eleven years I have compiled, Wednesday Links, a resource for writers. I’ve enjoyed creating the list and subsequent database that resulted from those eleven years – I placed a counter on the page and paid attention to the numbers – the numbers have slowed. Once each year I asked my readers to vote for Wednesday Links at Critters / Preditors and Editors, not a big request, to use it as a tool to judge the value of the Links. Last year Links finished at 11, this year at 19. I haven’t done links for the last two weeks reclaiming three hours of my life back each Tuesday night; I’ve not received one post or note asking what the heck happened to Wednesday Links.

While fewer and even less of my favorite bloggers have been posting in the past few weeks (months) I have missed my own blogging as much as my morning cup of coffee and blog time. I used to have the time to check my favorites several times each day, making sure I posted a comment as a show of support – whether a specific post compelled a response out of me (usually the case) or not. I refuse to give up blogging, it keeps me in touch with people I like, it makes me think, it feeds my soul. No! No! No! My blogging won’t go.

I have also noted that having no me time has bent my inspiration and sense of humor. I wrote out my annual “One Hundred Things About Me” list this week. I started writing it on Saturday night, added ten or more so items Sunday, got to number 67 on Monday – reread what I’d written Tuesday night when I wasn’t compiling my Wednesday Links and discovered several things:

1) I’m boring
2) I’m uninspired
3) I’m humorless
4) It took me four days to write 100 humorless things about me, a project I’ve been thinking about for months that usually takes me a half an hour to write. That sucks, majorly sucks. MAJORLY!

I want my me time back, I want my humor back. I want to still be able to hit my crosstrainer, bemoan my yoga endeavors, give Ducky the time he needs, garden, do my job and still be able to breathe, blog, and recharge. I’ve been on a Time Miss Management Slowdive. Slow nosedive is maybe more accurate, but now I know the definition of Slowdive and must become proactive to regain what I’ve seemingly lost.

Sith,
Cele

PS Thank you Sid for the topic, Thank you Fii, my friend, for the inspiration.

Talk Thursday: What It Is…

It is everything, it is nothing, it is the past, and it is the future. Most of all it is whatever I want it to be, what ever I make it.

It is the want to be thinner, as someone once said, “There is a skinny person inside of me wanting to get out.” Yes, I am fat. It was not by choice, but maybe it was by karma – and those pesky little jeans. All those times, in my thinner years, I noticed someone’s wide butt, cellulite legs, a paunch and thought, “I won’t ever let myself become that big.” Darn, darn, darn now I own them all. I did not say when I grow up I want to be lumpy and sad, but here I am. Maybe what it is …is young, thin arrogance. Maybe it is ignorance, I definitely know it is seemingly impossible to be rid of.

It is the wish to be kinder. I have an opinion, despite Madonna’s mantra that everyone is entitled to her opinion, not everyone needs to know mine. Those self-abusive enough will stop by my blog, read three paragraphs and then run in the opposite direction without leaving a comment. I don’t need to slash and burn with my words, but I do need to give my compassion, love, and patience to those who are bruised and in need; to become a better person through the osmosis of the best of my spiritual family. What it is should be easy.

It is a wish to share the best of me with those I love and who love me. To accept and love them for their faults and who they are, not who I want them to become. To remember that often what I dislike in others are the very things that can be found within myself. What it is …is the conscious decision to rebuff and countermand hatred and disparity.

What it is, is what I make it. It is what ever you make it. I will not harbor anger over what I alone cannot change, but I will patiently work to change injustices, wrongs, and prejudices one person at a time. It takes one person, one step, one smile to open the door to the next. What it is, is something I can do with the thought in mind that I too can change the wrongs and misjudgments inside of me.

Sith,
Cele