Saturday, October 06, 2007

And A Mighty Chest It Is

I think about blogging constantly, Hello my name is Cele, and I blog. A.LOT. SML needs to hold session soon.

Unfortunately I don’t write as much as I think about writing and not nearly as much as the average blogger. Which I suppose is okay, because who in the heck reads my blog anyway? I’m not whining, I just realize that the only person who is hurt by my not blogging is me.

So today I have a bit on my chest, and a mighty chest it is, but a chest no less that can only hold so much. So here are random attacks at thought, comprehension, and higher mental health numbers.

It started raining again today. Nothing new, this is Oregon. But about, hmmm four weeks ago I bought two new sets of windshield wiper blades; a set for Zuzu and a set from Ducky’s commuter car. Well par for course when I bought them Discount Store Down The Street didn’t have all I needed so I bought one refill for the passenger side of my truck and gave the good ones to Ducky. Well that isn’t quite true. Let me rephrase, I set aside the two good matching ones for Ducky. Today’s rain made me decide to change out my blades.

WHO THE HECK THOUGHT UP REFILL? The Marquis De Sade? So today, four weeks later, I throw the refill in the trash (but only after spending an hour trying to master the piece of crap,) drive back to Discount Store Down The Street, who now has the correct blades. Finished the job – piece of cake. Tomorrow I’ll do Ducky’s car.

I believe in truth in advertising. A rare concept I know. But damn it if a product says it’s going to take the soap scum residue and build up off my shower walls, don’t cha think it should….especially after using cases of the crap? I am here to tell you, “Fuck, NO it doesn’t.” Can’t someone tell the truth about their crappy product?

When I write an ad, I try to tell the truth. I really do. Thank God I don’t have some of the crappy restaurants in town as clients, I would be in a world of hurt. But I do have tuna fishermen as clients; so when I say “Buy your tuna off the boat fresh” I make sure I say, while supplies last first.


“While supplies last, fresh tuna is waiting for you on the Fishing Vessel Going Under.” It just makes good business sense to me. The fish will be fresh in supply while it last, and the supply will last until it’s sold. I know there is a gray line there, but let me tell you fresh tuna at a good fee tends to sell fast.

So why can’t a shower cleaner work or at least tell me it’s a fifty - fifty crapshoot? (wow, did you know crapshoot is in the dictionary? I didn’t until my spell checker corrected me. Fuck is too, I guess dictionaries are allowed to cuss, don’t tell my mom she’ll charge it a quarter for each indiscretion.)

Dog food, my poor Arlo is suffering from food allergies, the poor baby scratches and licks non-stop. Drives me friggin’ crazy (btw friggin’ is not in the dictionary.) I knew that dogs had problems with corn; you should stay away from any dog food where corn is among the top three ingredients. Try that, it’s not easy. But I learned long ago. Or so I thought. I didn't know dogs have gluten allergies worse than corn. My poor dog – his favorite treats are riddled with wheat, corn meal, and a lot of other crap not good for him. So now I must find him new treats, ask my vet about Benedyrl for him, something that will keep him from scratching, biting, licking, chewing, and driving me and Ducky crazy.

Dj’s that think the world is interested in every little opinion they have. WTF! This is only made worse by Dj’s that talk about topics they know nothing about. Drives me bat shit. It is compounded by Dj’s (dj’s, btw, is not in the dictionary) who run a joke into the ground. Who do not respect their audience. Who demean others – especially when they’re not God’s gift to radio (or the world) in the first place. Or the DJ who constantly tells you that this song was their favorite make out song in high school. The only thing worse than this, is the Dj who is boring and speak very little, but play lots of music – er which is the category I fall into. Sadly. Oh maybe not.

So what’s on your chest today?


CV Rick said...

First of all, stop listening to the radio . . . nothing good can come of it. I stopped and now listen exclusively to audiobooks . . all day, every day.

My dog does the same thing, with the licking, scratching, rubbing . . . we've been through all the foods . . . the vet says it's just a habit, nothing to be done. We got him off chicken and that's it for me.

What's on my chest? I hate people to make left-hand turns. If there's no turn lane, just turn right, go around the block and you'll be where you wanted to be without creating a four-block traffic jam.

I'm tired. g'night.

Jazzy said...

What is on my chest? I have to say that today, not much is on my chest! After I ranted in my blog, I felt much better actually. I have gotten all but one present done and ready to go to Montana. I have only two loads of laundry left, which always makes me happy! I have my daughter's Halloween costume done, which I sewed myself. I have all the household chores done, including the kitchen and bathrooms, two rooms I hate to clean but hate when they are messy. And, even better, it is only Monday, and all of this is done.

I had a great time at chat on Friday too.

Talk to you soon! :)

Sideon said...

I like when you get things off your chest - your rants and observations usually have me rolling.

Advertising: I think there should be a federal law against any pharmaceutical advertising. I don't want to see ads being pimped about erectile dysfunction or allergies or asthma. I think those companies that do advertise should be required to spend 50% on humanitarian efforts, and their board of directors and marketing directors should be spanked, naked, in public.

My chest is relatively empty today, just flyin' in from Utahr. It's gonna take a few days to feel like I'm home again.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Boobs. I have boobs on my chest.

The obvious aside, of course, I wonder this:

Why do people think it's a good idea to cross against the light with traffic bearing down on them?

Why don't those of us bearing down on pedestrians crossing against the light actually hit them, rather than brake and honk?

Why are some people mean?

Is there a way to learn to live a simpler life that involves making less money? And why does our society/world insist on money as the seemingly only way to survive in this world?

Why do pharma companies insist on plying us with more and more ads pushing their pills?

How did that cat get up there? It's kind of cool that s/he is walking across the rowhouses, but how did s/he get up there?

Maybe I'm just better off with boobs...

The son of a Irish Rebel said...


Rain...yes rain. I really got sick of it while we lived in Florence....yes Oregon. I would move back in a heart beat, but we have to wait here in North Idaho to help the father in law who has "old timers".

But walking on the beach on a warm Nov. day was heaven on earth. It is not raining here, but the know it alls on the TV say we will have snow, so what is better, Snow or Rain?

Any way, the boy is tending the burn pile so I must go, but I do enjoy reading your blog so keep up the good work.


Cele said...

Rick, I'm pretty sure Arlo's problem is a mixture - Allergy and habit. Now the radio? I'm going to have a hard time following that one.

Jazzy, you rant, ha ha, you're always so easy going. I know you must be getting excited about your trip home. But girl, Oregon loves ya too.

Sid, oh mi Sid the internet is so quiet when you're away. Ducky will sit there listening to the pharmasutical ads shaking his head when they get to the "Don't Take This If" portion on the program. But I truly believe that if they advertise something you have to ask your doctor for, it's not worth the risk.

Tewkes, I think those people have superman syndrome: they think nothing can hurt them. I've been hit by a car before, it hurts.

Why are people mean? because they want everyone to be as sour as they are - IMO.

Irish, Welcome. Rain in Florence? Ah come on, it's too stormy to rain... much. We had an inch and a half Sunday, and you're right the beach on a warm November day is bliss. We had a few days this past summer that was just like that, hold on, NO WIND. I know hard to believe, but it really happened. And personally (because I can say this with confidence) I would never live anywhere else. Total Heaven.

Jazzy said...

Well Cele, I am not sure that my husband would agree with you that I am so easy going, but I will take that as a compliment. My dad is very easy going, while my mom is just the opposite. I am really excited to go home, but I will be glad when the whirlwind trip is over and we are back home here in Oregon too.

wry catcher said...

Boobs and bitterness. Full stop.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Love this post, and the comment thread too. It IS time for me to do another blogaholics anonymous...


Sideon said...

I HAVE been way too quiet - I am working on that as we speak :)