If I knew what it is I do, maybe I’d be able to tell you why. But after 52 plus years on this earth (this time around) I am still in the dark as to why I am here, what I am doing here, why I am doing it, who I am doing it with, and how much longer it will take for me to complete the whats, whys, and wherefores. Actually I had a somewhat similar conversation this evening with my mother and my grandmother at dinner. Every other Thursday night we go out to dinner, just the three of us girls.
The rules are simple.
1) We meet for dinner out every other Thursday night
2) The location changes each time
3) We rotate who selects the restaurant from the pile of names
4) No restaurant redos until all have been visited
a) this does not apply to birthdays
5) We all go dutch
a) this does not apply to birthdays
b) when it’s a birthday the person not paying is responsible for the tip
It takes about 8 months to go through the list of restaurants. My grandmother is not allowed to order Seafood Pasta of any ilk (she always is unhappy when she does.) Just about any topic is open for discussion….er except politics…for the most part. Hey, I try hard to keep my mouth shut.
Anyway, the discussion tonight came down to why we do what we do [which cracked me up because…1) I didn’t start the discussion and 2) it’s the Talk Thursday topic and I was stumped.] As I stated earlier I have no idea why I do the things I do or what they even are. But one bad habit I have had my entire life is over doing. It makes no difference what it is, I over do.
Example: why get married once when you can get divorced twice and married three times? Why? There are men out there who need to marry me and I aim to please. Well at least I did, I’m in remission at the moment.
Example: Why move one yard of gravel in one day, when there are three that need to be moved? I have a back it needs to be felt.
Example: Why burn a candle only at both ends. When the middle isn’t doing jack shit? Why? You can only sleep and watch so much TV.
So I do it all, wear myself out; get a fever; a migraine; or faint. That has always been me. When my mom and grandma arrived at the restaurant (tonight was Mexican) I had the beginnings of a headache and was taking some ibuprophen, immediately my mom asked me what I’d over done? Nothing, honest, nothing. She then proceeds to tell my grandma about the night when I was in high school that I decided to do a face plant in my soup. Why did I do a face plant in the soup? I had been over doing it, running myself down, and it was taking its toll on my body. It is a fact of me.
A fact that I come by quite naturally, my father (suffering from depression and emphysema) was notorious for over working himself because he felt good. One day of over working himself equated to a four or five day (later in life even longer) stay in bed, sleeping 23 hours a day. I kid you not. My mother herself over does it and will end up in bed with a migraine for a few day. See I come by it quite naturally. Now I give my mom credit because she has recognized this fact about herself and places limits on her activity. So why, when I said I come by over doing it naturally, was she appalled? I said I was learning by her example and backing off.
I guess the reason I do what I do, is because to do anything less wouldn’t be me. So why do you do what you do?
So There Are Dreams, And...
1 day ago
2 comments:
Because one thing always leads to another... because nothing can be done half-assed... because no one will do it the way you will do it... because if it's done wrong, it's better that the blame be placed on you rather than someone else. etc. etc.
Luckily, I also got the procrastinator gene, which is amplified by the lazy-as-shit gene. But good god look out when I get rev'd up cuz their ain't no stopping me!!
Love you Mom.
-Psam
Given that your grandmother is still alive, it sounds like you are going to be doing this dining out routine for quite a long time....assuming this tradition continues down the road.
I have ALWAYS hated being the delegator and would always do it myself for fear that it would not turn out the way it should have. I have to give up on that. After buying a leaf blower this year, I have become even more obsessive-compulsive needing to get up EVERY SINGLE leaf, knowing that by morning, there will be more there anyway.
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