Keyboard Dining

I eat at my keyboards, yes at both work and home. A Lot. So while it was frustrating to have dropped a good size lump of steamed rice and garlic from my dry sautéed green beans this afternoon, I wasn’t surprised. Better the keyboard than my white crepe blazer.

I know, I know you’re thinking, “WTF, is she doing eating anything Chinese, Italian, or Tex Mex in a white crepe blazer?” It boggles the logical mind. I on the other hand, and if you polled my boss too, find nothing unusual in that for me. Because to remove the blazer would require two things on my part; first, forethought, secondly…I forgot what the second part was, besides dropping food on my keyboard is a daily process for me.

I eat breakfast ninety-five percent of the time at my keyboard. What does this say? I need to vacation more often, vacations were designed for eating breakfast out. I eat ninety two percent of my lunches at my keyboard. I work through lunch most days. Friday nights generally find a goodly dose of ice cream drips falling along the right hand number keys towards the end of the bowl on my keyboard during chat. Happy note, Otterpops don’t tend to drip on my keyboard.

Back to the dry sautéed green beans and my dilemma as to how I might possibly get the rice out from between the keys. Of course I could shake them out, but then – wow – I lose all that rice. Can we say gluttony? And the keys will still need cleaning. And no, I’m not going to try to suck the rice off of the keyboard, because DUDE! Have you ever tried turning the keyboard upside down and shaking it out? Nasty crap Dude, highly nasty. So I took my fork and picked up as much as I possibly could using the tines, then cursed loudly at the four grains that are now stuck amid a sea of soy sauce between F5%, F6, my 7, 8 and U keys. Tiny corners of post it notes, business cards (I’ll get through that box yet), even my letter opener. Nada, they are now in bits and falling further into the plastic face.

Inserting my faithful letter opener between 7 & 8 I pop it off. And OHMIGAWD! That’s where lint is born and apparently where an ant has died, a while back. Offending rice bits removed, key wiped clean, and popped back into place. Have you ever tried to remove an F key? F4 was not a problem, except no rice had gone down there. F5 & F6 – It ain’t happin’ honey. So I ever so gently try a small corner of paper toweling in between the keys with an upward motion to get what I can. We all know that when you’re working down, and upward sweep begins with a downward poke. So pray to the rice gods for good harvest.