Talk Thursday - The Network

For most, there are people you go through you life with; your parents, siblings, spouse(s yes, plural if you’re me,) and your children if you don’t piss them off during those formative years. People who have shared specific journeys with you, draw on those same memories, and remember. Friends and acquaintances, on the other hand, come and go. The boulders and flotsam in our lives that we flow against and around get caught upon in our (and their) trials and tribulations of life. But inside all of this is a group of friends who become the other half of you, a sisterhood of like minded souls.

Mine is a diverse group who during their own journeys, have traversed the level five rapids of life. Survivors of the same traumas and disasters that have shaped us, molded us, ground us into who we are today. Each offers their own battle stories, insights, possible solutions, and identify with me and my circumstance through something that is reflected in their own past. They are my positive reinforcements, offering their tears, support, and a listening ear. They can also smack me upside the head with truth when need be. They are the support systems of my life.

My network isn’t made up entire of females, I can count a guy or two among the rank and file of my sisterhood. They include my husband, sister, my mother, my daughter, and all the rest are people I have never laid eyes on. People dear to me, while I am terrified to me them face to face. Although one or two of them I have met over the phone for an intervention, or two, of art rendering dialogue.

None of them watch the same TV shows I do, read the same books and authors, listen to the same music, or even dance to the same piper. But they all are mirrors of me. They reside physically across the universe and metaphorically right inside my computer. Their IM’s flash joy on dark evenings, sunshine on rainy morns, and devote silliness seven days a week, when levity needs to over throw the oppression of my work a day world.

Some are Catholic; some ex-Mormon. Others are Wiccan, pagan, or confused. Some just don’t believe period. I love them all. Some are republican (okay very few, but she gave birth to me and I love her.) Some are Democratic, while others are just politically apathetic. Some are vehement in their stance and some are adept at change when faced with great logic. But they are all giving of themselves.

Their words paint worlds in my mind’s eye. Their abstract colours sing to my depths. Their poetry creates vistas for my imagination. And their prose resounds in my soul. They are my network; they are the other half of me.

Sith,
Cele

The Process

JulieAnn’s post this morning, and one by Natalie over the weekend has me thinking. Isn’t that what a good blog is all about, to get you thinking, hopefully outside your own personal box or deeper into your own motivations and ideals?

I consider myself a poet, I know quite bold of me. I’ve tried the poorly written American novel, as I’ve said copious times prior, “I’m not gifted with long term vision, and I can’t write by the seat of my pants.” It doesn’t mean that I don’t know what works, it just reinforces the long standing comment “Those who can’t write, edit.” I may have paraphrased something else along the way.

But I am a poet and over the years my focus has changed; hopefully my talent has evolved and grown. Eight years ago my daughter, Psam, introduced me to a Friday night poetry group. I was hooked, writing poetry and meeting each Friday night online to share, critique, and grow – it was and continues to be the drug of choice for me.

In the early days a topic was given at the end of Friday night’s workshop for the week (it still goes that way, but I usually set the topic.) Sunday morning in the quiet hours before the house awoke I would begin weaving words into metered and rhymed stanza. Sometime using the topic literally, others metaphorically.

The Elementals

The morning mist sets on the moors,
above the heather wet,
and holds the light close to the ground
the moist, damp air it's net.
The churning waves sent from the sea
batter the rocky beach,
the salt spray flies to meet the mist
where moors and ocean reach.
I raise my arms up to the sky
in praise, my morning rite,
drink of the day into my soul,
of salt spray, moor, and light.

The mid day sun rides on the sky
where Gulls and Petrel soar,
fields of blue, are the air and sea,
mauve, heather on the moors.
The foam peaked waves, crash to the sand
below the granite cliffs,
where churning winds, gear up to rage,
a gale wind strong and stiff.
I raise my face up to the sun,
drink in the wind and light
its strength and peace rain over me.
I breathe eternal might.

The western sun has gone away,
dusk heralds in the night,
a storm brews strong upon the sea,
waves gather strength and height.
Dark churning clouds are rumbling deep,
and flash with brilliant light.
Tempest winds howls over cliff and land
and blow with all their might.
I stand and breathe the elements,
drink in the raging sight.
it's pain and brute force bolsters me
in life's continual fight.

The morning mist lays on the greens,
a bonney day begins,
the birds are winging on the sky,
the bees are buzzing hymns.
The churning ocean will reach the cliffs
and kiss the basaltic rock.
The breeze will freshen on the bay,
and ruffle on the loch.
I stand in awe, in silent peace,
I bow my head to pray,
for the wind and rain, sun and mist,
I thank God, every day.
© 20 July 2000 Calista Cates-Stanturf

As the war began the surge of anger in my veins changed my weaving process; no longer could I write rhymed meter, the lilting voice abandoned me for several years. Suddenly my voice was jarring, asymmetrical, abrupt coloured black and gray and red. People began not being so entranced with my jarring work.


Requim of the Demigods

Dealers of Death sell their wares,
in the name of security and peace.
Thank the mothers of young
sacrificed on the alters of democracy,
good youths blithely thrown
after the negligent wants of old men.
Demigods whose clocks are ticking
fear no legacy in time.
Your mark spilt blood on the world
rends in the soul of humanity,
Renewed hate and ignornace.
© 21 September 2004 Calista Cates-Stanturf

While poetry comes from the heart, I don’t agree that every thing people call poetry truly is. Words must be massaged, have relationships with each other, build in to a painting that speaks to both the heart and to the soul. BTW, if you use the words heart, soul, and love in a poem be prepared to be battered, bruised and battled by academics without ability or sensibility.

Today I sit in the quiet. My metered voice has returned, but I can also write in my asymmetrical voice. The joy of poetry has returned and so has my writing. I will sit with eyes closed, a word in my head, a face in my mind, a vision for interpretation, I will write. Maybe it’s just for me; maybe some year I will actually query an agent or house for publication? Who knows? But I will continue to write, continue to share, continue to listen to the beating of the universe and interpret.

Temptations

Covet, crave consumption
my lips it taunts
dangling temptation
indulgent wants
decadent desires.

Purring pampered pleasured
oh, do I dare
dip into desire
without care
of torrid, torturing thoughts?

Terrible temptation
taste buds haunted
unsated want and need
licking flaunted
chocolate consummation.
© 29 February 2008 Calista Cates-Stanturf

Sith,
Cele

The Purple Peeps Liberation Front

Everybody Sing....Here Comes Peter Cotton Tail
Hopping down the candy trail,
Hippity Hoppity, Easter's on its way!!!

Peeps that come in pink and blue, purple ones are just too new.
Hippity hoppity Easter's on its way.
Yellow peeps are right for me, you can have the pink you see,
Hippity hoppity EASTER'S On it's WAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Easter's here, and I think you stink,
To request your Peeps yellow or pink,
If you want your Peeps, then take it or leave it!
Cuz’ I got purple, YES! Believe it!

Hop to it!!
Support Purple Peeps!!
PURPLE PEEPS ARE PEOPLE TOO!!
From the Committee To Promote Endangered Easter Purple Peeps
- CPEEPPS

Dear Debbie,

In the grand scheme of things thirteen, junior high, and zits are sooo small. But those years help mold who you become. Concentrate on you and the journey you’re on, for it all goes by so fast. Give extra compassion and love to your mother, it is so hard losing a child, but hers is harder because no one told her the truth. Embrace your siblings for they are the people who’ve been a part of your voyage and you a part of theirs. Have fun with your father, because someday you will discover his childhood was vastly different and shockingly poor in comparison to the childhood he and your mother are giving you. Learn his lessons, revel in his insights, and listen one more time when he sings King Of The Road. Because one day he will be gone, and the song will mean so much more.

Enjoy the rest of your childhood, grow, expand, and love deeply. Embrace the diversity of experiences that are handed to you everyday. Enjoy Lenny while he is there because one day he will be gone and you’ll miss him thirty years later. Spend more time with Grampa because someday you will live far apart and the visits will be far spaced and random, and then he will be gone and your heart will mourn the loss profoundly.

Friends will come, friends will go, some will die, some will take some very odd journeys but they will always remain in your heart no matter where you step. Do not measure your friends by what they have or do for you, but by how they answer your heart. Value them not for the time they stick around, but for the paths they have traveled with you and stayed true. Measure your words and keep them sweet, because Karma is a bitch and life is too long for things to not come full circle. And don’t fail to say the things you want to say, just think them through to their impact first.

Buy a copy of the Desiderata and save it for the inspiration it has brought you through out the years. Ginger Taylor will draw you a beautiful Osterich, protect it before it disappears and you are full of regret. Don’t break your mother’s necklace, it was a precious thing to her.

Remember the things that happen to you, not for revenge but to give you empathy for the plight and sorrow of others. Absorb each moment and experience, grow with insight and grace.

Hold on to your joy of change for as long as you can; in adulthood, roots become important so enjoy the freedom of change.

And remember to put on more sunblock. Okay? The sun at Huntington, Balboa, and Morro Bay will come back to haunt you if you don’t. Also buy stock in Google, Microsoft, and B of A early.

Oh, and don’t start smoking that last time, kicking the habit will begin a terrible chain reaction that begins with twenty five pounds that never go away. Infact, just don’t start again after you quit the first time. Do not ever think thoughts that begin with, “I will never…” because honey never comes far too fast and often for you to say those words, no matter how well intended you are.

And finally like yourself because you are pretty damn special, no matter how many times you get beat up, made fun of, and called names. It’s all about the journey.

Love, me
Cele

Talk Thursday – The Weight of Neurosis

Cele: You know, some days I’m much thinner.
Calista: (rolls eyes) Yeah, online.
Cele: No, really, some days I feel, I don’t know, thinner. Inside.
Calista: Like Frodo and Bilbo?
Cele: No idiot, they had a ring.
Calista: Yeah and it was make believe, just like you feeling thinner “some days.”
Cele: (rolls her eyes) Oh, yeah. And you’re in touch with reality? Kind of like, how you remove jammies, pee, and THEN step on the scales?
Calista: Well it’s tare weight.
Cele: Yeah, tare weight. Then you get off, move the scale, and get back on.
Calista: Well the linoleum is un even.
Cele: Fifteen times?
Calista: Quality control. Like Olympic scoring; you throw out the high and the low scores and even it out for your total score.
Cele: Every morning? That is just fucking neurotic.
Calista: No, after all that water, rice and raisins I’ve got to find those pounds I lost, or lose the pounds I found.
Cele: At least we’re regular and our cholesterol is non-existent.
Calista: I know there is a skinny person struggling to get out. I can feel her ribs and hip bones, her flat, empty stomach.
Cele: Why, because Oprah told you so?
Calista: Hey, she’s wise.
Cele: And is that why you keep the size 8’s, 10’, 12, and 14’s of yester decade in your closet?
Calista: I’m going to lose it.
Cele: Oh, girl friend, you already lost it.
Calista: Bitch!

Life In Six Words or Less

Yeah as if I could do less. Tewkes latenly tagged me to sum up my life in six words or less.

Here's how this one works:
1. Write your own six-word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play. (This last step is optional.)

So I read this yesterday morning and considered it off and on all day long. Then I saw I'd actually had been tagged and the pressure was on.

Six words that I'd like to think fit me into a nutshell (because the reality is this butt will never fit into a nutshell)...

Daughter, Wife, Mother, Friend, Kind, Strong

But really isn't it all realitive? So I thought about it some more and came up with one phrase that fits my belief system and me...

It's all about the Journey.

I found the photo on Flickr, by J A X

Tagged? Wow, that is hard so I will tag but playing is optional. And a lot of my friends have been tagged already, so.... Natalie, JulieAnn, Sid, Peggy, Sister Lisa, Enlightened Fairy

A Difference Of Lives

Has your upbringing ever come up and smacked you in the face? Come on face it, we’re all different. We all have little twist to our values. Little things that mean something to us, and other things that we just don’t get. I’m not an in time person. I am late on a lot of things, like birthdays, even Christmas presents. I will send an email that says Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas very much on time. Well, except for the physical Christmas cards, they turn into Happy New Years cards. And those ever important thank you’s notes, well the phone calls came on time, but the mailed cards and notes...way late.

These little differences of mine over, say your’s, my husband’s, my friend’s, or a total stranger’s has come into focus over the past few years and caused me both pause and consideration. My birthday doesn’t mean a lot to me, it’s usually another day. But your birthday, wow, it means a lot to me, and if you’re with me –physically--I will lavish you on that day and do my best to make you feel as special as you are. But my poor brother and his family still haven’t gotten the gifts for their 2007 birthdays. It’s not that I don’t love them, it’s that I’m a failure at getting things figured out, bought, and the most important part…shipped in a timely fashion. Their email birthday cards… arrived on time. My sister and I always laugh about how late we are getting our gifts to each other, it is a prime source of our amusement, and you know what it doesn’t bother me, but others, oy!

My family doesn’t do funerals. When my father died in December, no funeral, no memorial, no wake, but I light a candle for him and tell him hello, goodnight when I blow it out, and will ask him questions out of the blue, then close my eyes and listen for the answer with my heart. On the other hand like most people, my husband’s family does the whole big thing, then at Christmas time they take it a whole giant leap further with a tree at the cemetery, decorated, little lights, and play Christmas carols. See what I mean by big difference? I find it a bit over the top, but it is their belief and I honor that, who am I to say who’s right or … different? And Ducky has come to appreciate the no funeral thing a little bit, too.

I’m not a phone person, really I find myself at odds when I know I have to make a call. I can put it off for weeks. You can’t do anything else when you’re on the phone, so you sit there and listen, talk, listen and accomplish nothing, but touching bases. I know that sounds cold of me doesn’t it? But then you have to understand I’m extremely bad at small talk. When we meet, if I ask you about your job or work it is for two reasons 1) I have no clue as to what I should ask you 2) it’s because I’m really interested in you and your job. I mean it’s you. When we get to the weather then you know I’m running out of topics of dialogue. But my husband and his sisters, my brothers and my sister too… all phone people. I am away for more than 20 minutes and Ducky already has three phone calls under his belt. He constantly harps on me to call my mother, has my daughter called and if not (which usually she hasn’t) why not?…er because she’s not a phone person like me. The other day I answer the phone at work and their is a guy on the other line, and excuse me, but I am pretty damn sure he was in the bathroom.

I guess for the most part what bothers me is when we judge another and find them lacking based on our own oddities. I once had a friend, Twinkie, who came out to me, all his life he felt he’d been trapped in a man’s body and was going to begin living his life as a woman. I felt terrible for him and could offer him nothing more than my support and understanding, and to keep his confidence. Two months later he cornered my friend's wife and told her all his problems, which is his right. Later when I admitted I’d know about Twinkie’s decision and had not told, my bo...er friend was furious with me. I honored my friend’s wishes; it was not my secret to tell and what good would telling anyone have done? None, it would have done no good. Where he is today I have no clue, he walked away from Florence after his family walked away from him. But the point was that for one person keeping their secret is good, but telling another’s is good too. Huh?

My mother raised us in a very even Steven manner (do you capitalize Steven when you write even steven?) even down to our Christmas list. If she spent $35 (remember this was back in the ’60) on one child (and she had four) she spent $35 on each child. She is that way to this day. I myself am the same way; it just seems fair. No favoritism, even Stephen (maybe you spell with a capitol but Stephen instead of Steven, or steven) and all is well. But I have one child who USE to count everything in volume. So weird.

I have more than one extended family member who is atheist or what they call atheist. I get extremely tired of being told my beliefs are rubbish? They are my beliefs, I don’t tell them their beliefs are rubbish, they would be highly offended if I did, but they have the right to shove their belief repeatedly down my throat. Huh? And what they base their belief that my thoughts are rubbish is on misinformation, but if you try to show them that, then you are trying to start an argument. Whatever. Personally to me it is ignorant, arrogant bullying.

And this one last rant. What about people who claim they are vegetarians because eating meat is cruelty to animals? But they wear leather boots, have leather couches (yes plural), and suede coats? And I’m the sick one.

Oh, I have a headache.
Love
Cele

The One In Which I Cook

My passion lately has been the search for perfect Luscious Lemon Bars. One of my clients makes the most divine treats, beginning with Luscious Lemon Bars. But my freverent wish is to best her at her game.

(Side note: freverent or freverently are not real words. Personally I want to know why not? If...
Viewshed: the natural environment that is visible from one or more viewing points;
Nocebo: a harmless substance that when taken by a patient is associated with harmful effects due to negative expectations or the psychological condition of the patient;
Angolotti: pasta in the form of semicircular cases containing a filling (as of meat, cheese, or vegetables, are words why not freverant: a word I and many others have used for decades. Note I’ve never used Nocebo, Viewshed, or Angolotti althought the latter sounds delish [not a real word.])

Hers, Cindy at Mon Ami Gourment Deli & Antiques (Luscious Lemon Bars, not Angolotti,) are lemony, delicate, and sinfully divine. If you have a Luscious Lemon Bar recipe you think I would love, please bring it on.

But then a fortnight past, Debbie came up with a heart health recipe. Note Luscious Lemon Bars are not heart healthy. No this is a spendy (not a word) little vegetable dish that is out of this world. BTW did you note I love to eat? See hips for further support of this comment.

Asparagus officinales: Plant whose succulent young shoots are cooked and eaten as a vegetable.

Yum-Yum. You take one bunch of Asparagus, and oh look it’s just the right time of year to buy it too. Because who in there right mind will pay more than $1.99 a pound for it? Not Me. Last week it was $1.49 a pound, this week $2.99, good thing I bought two bunches last week.

You wash your asparagus (duh!)
Break off the woody ends (double duh!.)
Preheat oven to 425°
Coat baking dish with olive oil
Arrange washed cleaned spears in dish
Drizzle additional olive oil over spears
(Actually I just rolled the spears in the dish to coat them, make sure you get the tips)


Sprinkle with salt to season
And bake for 15 to 20 minutes.


The tips get slightly crunchy, oh divine (apparently my word for the week) Ducky’s not hot on asparagus, so more for me, he can have my meat.

Bon Appetite!
Cele

Talk Thursday: Marching Morons

Years, and a husband or two ago, I read the short story Marching Morons by C. M. Kornbluth. This title has resonated through my thoughts for the last few days, because by my reckonning mankind is becoming more sheepish and dumbed down on a daily basis. Just like in the story.

Weekly I am receiving emails that target Barak Obama. He’s a radical muslim, this decade’s American version of the antichrist. He was sworn into office on the Quran. His campaign is being funded by Hugo Chavez. He’s been endorsed by the KuKluxKlan.

Oh mi God, and people buy this?

Not only do I receive these emails, but they come with the statement that you can check out the facts on Snopes and then directs the reader to pass the email on because people need to know “Who could become our next president.” I’m rolling on the floor in hysterics. Does anyone check Snopes after receiving these emails? Apparently not the people who send them to me, because, duh! They’d have not passed them on had they done so. No, they just believe and pass the ammunition of lies. I wish people would go check out the Snopes website because then they’d learn more, in fact according to Snopes there are several more rumors drifting around that I’d not received yet, but it is still months away from November give it time.

First I have to address the idiocy of the KKK comment, come on get real. The only reason they would back Barack would be to put forward McCain.

Secondly if he wanted to be sworn in on the Quran (a holy book) why not? You don’t think Romney would have asked for the Book of Mormons? Or better yet the triple threat? I mean lets cover all bases.

Thirdly, Hugo Chavez? C’mon get real. While Hugo could back most anyone, I don’t think Chavez is that wiley or interested in American politics at this point of the race.

Fourth, and perhaps the most important, Obama is not a muslim, radical or mainstream. And would or should it really make a difference? We’re suppose to be a diverse society of open minds; all for one and one for all – hey, I can dream. But no we label, suck up the miss information, and carry our banners of hate forward.

I read a blog yesterday that accused of all women who vote for Hillary Clinton of doing so just because she has a vagina. Huh? I respect the guy who wrote it, but come on, I have a brain that thinks. Accusing women of voting for Hillary just because she’s female, would be like voting Barack just because he’s half-black, or McCain because he’s a fear promoting warmonger, er I mean Republican.

I would vote for either Obama or Clinton for several reasons, they are quite similar in the positions I’ve already researched. First and foremost, they are not Bush, ergo they are not McCain. Second, they are both green candiates. They are both relatively open minded. But yes, all candidates and their political party affiliation have agendas… people be damned.

Barack Obama is against the war and pro phased pullout, is pro patriot act…errr sort of. Voted against raising the national debt limit, backs SSI. Has been pro choice in the past, is pro stem cell research. Supports the death penalty on a case by case basis, voted for minimum wage increase, supports affordable drug and health care, supports amnesty/permanent legalization for illegal aliens and temporary, and is wilderness conservation minded. Is pro gun protections (meaning he doesn’t support individual gun ownership rights [based on his previous voting.]) And is wilderness conservation minded.

Opposes Gay Marriages, Net Neutrality, and educational vouchers.

Hillary Clinton is anti war, is pro patriot act. Supports a balanced budget, supports Medicare assistance, is pro-choice, pro stem cell research. Believes in the death penalty, voted for minimum wage increases, supports affordable health care, supports Amnesty / permanent legalization for illegal aliens and temporary legalization for illegal aliens as guest workers. Supports civil liberties, favors gay marriage, is a free trade advocate (yes we remember Nafta.)

Opposes gun control legislation, Net Neutrality, and educational vouchers.

And just so you don't think these rumors and emails about about Obama only, here's Hillary's Snopes page, er the one she shares with her hubby -- you know sins of the husband and all that rot.

My mother will blindly vote on fear and the Republican ticket. I am still weighing the pros and cons of the Democratic ticket, although I can’t vote during Oregon’s Democratic Primaries in May (because I’m independent.) But how many marching morons out there will believe and vote based on 1) calculating emails forwarded in bunny fucking fashion? 2) Listen to their specifically slanted network and cable talking heads? 3) or vote their parent’s partly line, just because it’s the way they were raised? My father once bemoaned, “How did I raise so many democratic children?” Those of us there laughed, because we are both Independent. My father would have voted McCain **shivers run through me** at one time I thought he was against the war, silly me. My mother will vote McCain. I haven’t made up my mind yet, and I don’t mean to sway yours beyond getting out there and deciding for YOURSELF. And then get out there and vote, do it early, do it often.

Think for yourself, use your voice, be proactive, not reactive. Now the question is, "Would you buy it for a quarter?"

Sith
Cele

Blog Rating, schmating, I'm flumoxed

Earlier this week Tewkes found a kewl little blog tool for rating her blog. So you know me, had to copy. I tried, I tried, I tried to copy the code for my blog yesterday. Drats, it was smarter than I was. So I tried again this morning. Voilà! It finally copied.

So if you are curious I ranked at Junior High Level. Wow, that simple? I was kind of amazed. I note that Phoenix rated Junior High, too.

I tried this several times, just to make sure it didn’t cycle through the rankings, but it consistently came up Junior High over two days. So out of curiosity I tried it on my Wednesday Links Blog.

Now I really wonder what their criteria is?

Cele’s Six Question Television Meme, shamelessly lifted from Sick Rick

A sick Rick sat in a room with a television and (I’m assuming command of the remote) and reaffirmed his opinion and emotions about the television, television programming and its effects on today’s Rick. Then he challenged us to contemplate the same. Ergo, I am.

Here is Ricks Five Television Question Meme… But I’m adding a question so now it is Cele’s Six Question Television Question Meme

#1 - Name 3 bad things about television? (Maybe this is really a comment about the division of Americans in general.)
a) People allow today’s television to think for them. Political opinion comes from the network and cable talking heads. A person is guilty (far before trial-we've suspended a basic American concept of innocent until proven guilty) because someone says so, and hammers us with this opinion constantly.
b) One hundred and fifty choices and nothing to watch but reruns (er, the world according to Ducky.)
c) The loss of family hour. I remember watching the World According to Dave one night and hearing Ass used six times in one episode. After that it seemed like bitch, bastard, bad ass, and hell were suddenly common place, family hour faire. I cuss like a long haul trucker and was offended. (ergo, I’m one of double standards.)

#2 - Why do you watch television, when you do?
Mostly to spend time with Ducky, I’m a computer person, he’s a TV person. I am, I suspect, of the minority that watches approximately 1 hour of television a night or less – unless college football or baseball is on.)

#3 - Name three television dramas that you like. What makes each unique.
a) Oregon Duck Football (if you don’t think this is drama ask Rick about the Oregon / Oklahoma bowl game.) Fresh, frustrating, current.
b) NCIS (when its not reruns) I like the topics, discovery and technique is not far fetched, good character chemistry – oh and it’s on before 9pm.
c) China Beach (you didn’t say on TV today) I loved the characters, the content, the humanization of the war.

#4 - What's one of the worst things about television today?
I doubt I can keep this at one. The dumbing down of America – the loss of family hour – commonplace sick, depredating humor

#5 - What's one of the better things about television today?
The instantaneous news coverage

#6 – What three television programs would you bring back?
a) Farscape
b) Joan of Arcadia
c) Mysteries of the Bible

Do you have a question to add? Question my sanity? Or just want to play? Please do and let me know when and where.
Sith,
Cele

Talk Thursday: I’m a Grown-up?

Every American child—that is the ones I knew/know—counted the years, months, and even days until their sixteenth birthday and the ability to get their drivers license. I didn’t get mine until I was pregnant and nineteen.

When I was a teen I couldn’t wait until I was twenty-one and gained the right to vote and drink legally. Not to mention being majorly (why isn’t majorly a word?) pissed that an eighteen year old boy could be drafted and die in a hostile foreign land for oil and telecommunication concerns, I mean American freedom and the destruction of communism, before they could vote and then legally get drunk because the warmongers in office remained their after the elections. I never fail to vote, and it was all anti-climactic because I was living in Germany when I turned twenty-one and was able to drink legally on the economy already, and had to cast my votes absentee…MEANING THEY DIDN’T COUNT ANYWAY. Despite that, I never fail to vote.

When I was in my twenties and my thirties I still referred to myself as a girl. I wondered when do you begin to feel like an adult, a woman, a grown up? When do I start dressing age appropriate? What is age appropriate? And when does Barry Manilow start sounding better than Led Zepplin and Cat Stevens, because I want to end it all right before that time. And it’s obvious that it happens somewhere along the timeline.

The major faux pas I made: arrogantly thinking I would never let myself get fat. I never considered the simple inescapable factors:
1) I would burn out on pumping iron
2) Skinny ego karma
3) Hereditary gene factor
4) That I would quit smoking and gain twenty-five pounds in one month, one month I kid you not
5) That those twenty-five pounds would double plus over the next decade.
6) I never realized the factors of menopause
I never contemplated that there would come a day when my butt and thighs would realize it could just inhale carb and fat calories. In frustration I have thrown myself on the Cross Trainer of futility. Futility I tell you, and it just makes me hungrier.

I use to wear miniskirts, well into my mid to late forties. My legs still looked great. I have wisely exchanged the miniskirts for maxis (sounds like pads) but mostly I wear pants. I’ve not worn a bikini since I got pregnant (age 19.) I’ve not worn shorts since my honeymoon in 1994 (age 38.) now it’s all suits and jeans. Despite seeing little of the public during work, suits make me feel more professional—actually I think suits make me cuss less (which could explain why I cussed LOUDLY this afternoon during a conversation with my boss—I’m wearing black slacks and a white shirt today. No suit.)

Where on God’s Green Earth does it say middle aged and overweight women have to wear unfitted, untailored, loud coloured polyester or wrinkly cotton? Huh? What gives? Who says I can’t listen to today’s hot music? Who says I have to watch the fun from the ground. I can’t wait to ride the roller coaster atop the Stratosphere in Vegas. If I have a stroke during the experience please note:
I am an organ donor
I want to be cremated
My china and rings go to Psam
My necklaces to Miseray
Arlo gets my Ducky
And Burp is incharge!

Please spread my ashes in a couple of beautiful gardens, preferably on more than one continent, near some nasturtiums, ferns, and a bird feeder.

Sith,
Cele

I will not whine, I will not whine, I will not whine.

Part of my 2008 New Year’s Resolution, a scant two months past, was to not whine. I’ve been holding up my end of the bargain, which makes me think I missed the mark.

Remember the easy days of resolutions made and broken a mere three days later? To not chew gum or ice—well I was wearing braces at the time…for eight friggin’ years. To not pig out on chocolate. What did I think, it was Lent? I’m not even Catholic. What, I thought my resolve better than my hormones or my Sweet Tooth? Or to not litter. Okay, I still don’t break that one. Er… it is not littering if its bio-degradable and not lit. To lose weight. That’s a train wreck waiting to happen, unrealistic, masochistic, and just plain old hateful.

So, no whining and I’m doing pretty good. I am indulging on all sorts of things to keep myself happy.

Spend, Spend, Spend. In fact, we finally bought that hot tub we’ve been giving each other as an anniversary present for several years running. Thinking that we would have weeks to prepare, we’d been waiting for good weather to begin digging the slab foundation. Remember this is the Oregon Coast. But Saturday afternoon we found out it will be ready in about two weeks. So now poor Ducky is digging like a mad badger. Setting up the frame and thinking about the wiring and permits.

I on the other hand am thinking out why I didn’t resolve to lose weight, so my triple elastic size butt will fit in to a bathing suit. Oh, shit! I’m fifty two, that means I will have to wear something age appropriate. If I buy purple and or red shoot me, please. Ducky says just go suitless. It could be he’s delusional or I won’t let him get his eyes tested.

We do have our best helper on the job


Burp wants a diving board.

Sith
Cele

Attraction Meme

I first saw this at CVRick’s, then JulieAnn jumped aboard, followed by Sid here’s the Attraction Meme of only four questions. Consider yourself tagged if’n you’re readin’ and wanna play, if you do let me know where, either there or here, your choice.

Now when Rick originally laid down this challenge he added that those playing needed to add a question of their own…so here goes.

What do you find the most physically attractive about another person?
Smiles that reach their eyes and handshakes that don’t smash my rings into my fingers, but are firm and warm. But in all truth I notice asses and thighs first.

When you talk to a lover, what’s the topic?
No topic should be taboo and that includes past relationships. I love talking about everything; I love debating, but not arguing.

What motivates your lover?
Hopefully a desire to be the best he can be, at whatever he choses to do.

What’s your own best attribute?
I’m not sure, physically my hands or my eyes. Personality I would say my mind.

What’s personality trait do you find the most desirable in a lover?
Compassion or a sense of humor. I’m not sure but they are both important to me.

If you play let me know so I can see your answers and add a question if you can.
Sith
Cele

Talk Thursday - If I Could Turn Back Time

What would I do? Where would I go? What would I change?

I know people get tired of me saying this, but “Where we’ve been is who we are.” The only variables that I can think of is whether we are raised survivor or victim, and whether we are positive or negative.

I’m pretty much thinking I’m an independent survivor with a positive attitude. I mean, dude what else is there to be? I can’t think of one experience I would change. Yes honestly, not one. The good, the bad, the indifferent have all helped mold me into who I am. Each bad has come with a good, and every good has come with a drawback. Well I assume a drawback, I’d have to look and think deeper to tell the truth and discover the seeds of me.

In my first year at Girl Scout Camp I almost got kicked out because of my smart mouth. Wow, it was a total surprise to me that I was mouthy, I was trying to be funny. But what I learned out of the experience was that 1) not everyone thinks I’m funny 2) the last thing I wanted was to be kicked out of camp and made an example of 3) getting kicked out meant I’d never get to go to camp again, and damn it was way kewl 4) but most of all it would mean that I let my parents down – there was no way I was going to do that (well at least this time.) For my future I realized I wanted to be liked (something I forever chased,) that I’d have to swallow my words sometimes to get what I wanted, and that in a pinch or not so much of a pinch I could be bitingly witty with practice.

The most physical painful experience: birth. While I screamed, “Never again,” for the better part of thirty-six hours, I’d still not take it back. I not only have a beautiful daughter, that I’d not trade for the world, but I couldn’t imagine being more in love and delighted with my grandson, a grandson I’d not have except for from said daughter. In hindsight I know, going back and not having the experience (and the resulting thirty-two years,) I’d be a lesser person all the way around, with a sad quiet life. Now who in their right mind would trade that? No body I want to know.

Rape? No way. It’s not that I relish the experience, come on I am reasonably sane, but the growth I gained, priceless. The impact of one person’s violence on me had an amazing out come - for me, maybe that sounds twisted to you, but there is a sound logic in there to me. Rape is not walk in the park, although for some that is where it starts. It was no joy ride, although that has been a trigger for others, but not me. No, for me it was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But for that experience I have so much more. I have been beat upon and invaded – and I have survived. Now I have insights and experience. I have the shoulders to listen, the growth to move beyond and help others move beyond. Go back and ask for another dose, no way in hell, but turn left that night instead of right turn and I’d be a less compassionate person, a less understanding person, and maybe even a weaker person.

If I could turn back time maybe I could spend more time with my father, my grandfather, maybe I could have made my grandmother like me (but really I don’t think so.) But would it have been any better than I the time I’ve already had? I don’t think so; I had quality time with them. I cherish those moments, experiences, and lessons. If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t.

Although, damn I had a great ass at 18, you know that moment right before I got pregnant.

Sith
Cele

Rockin' Meme

Tewkes had fun with this meme, and I did too. For the first one I had to work a little bit and flip flop the name of the article, but it was creative and fun.

And strangely the quotes were the second from the bottom on both

And the pictures were the third page third picture

Okay, so I randomly cheat, but it was fun.

Here's how it works:
The first random article on wikipedia.org is your band name.
The last part of the last quote here is your album title.
The third picture here is your album cover art.


Novel Letters
All People Want Is Someone To Listen
Winter Morning by Queenscent

For the second one, because Tewkes did two, I did too.


Teepookana Plateau
Unremembered acts of kindness
Jump in the park 2 by Em the Frenchie

If you play, please leave me a link so I can see what you came up with.

100 Things About Me - 2008

1) There is a feeling of Mortality in my air
2) Yes, that middle age, “My life is more than half over, and what have I done with it?” thought keeps haunting me
3) Not to the point where I want to go do something crazy
4) No, I am very thankful for who I am with
5) For what I have in my life
6) And for what I have accomplished
7) I can honestly say I like myself.
8) I’m sure it has something to do with the people around me dying
9) But it’s also a reflection of my age.
10) Strangely enough, I’m still afraid of snakes
11) Yeah, duh! Like that’s going to change.
12) My new candy… Cherry Cordial Kisses from Hershey’s, which made for a loverly chocolate Valentine’s Day
13) So did the chocolate covered strawberries from Ducky, divine decadence, hmmm, hmmm, hm.
14) God, that man is a saint.
15) That mortality thingie could also be due in part to it being a nine year
16) A year of endings, even though I’ve only just begun
17) A year that began with the doldrums, sadness, and ennui
18) But a nine-year also means new starts are ahead.
19) In a year, but still ahead
20) I’ve had an incredible craving for pepperoni sticks
21) Good thing I’m not a vegetarian.
22) My weight is down five to seven pounds,
23) And yet, I feel fatter.
24) I’ve always known I was a Monkey, but now I know I’m a fire Monkey
25) I use to have a monkey, a spider monkey named Mark, it was a girl
26) Ducky is a Water Dragon
27) I have a dragon collect – the cute type of dragons – Celtic Dragons
28) Ducky fits right in
29) Strangely Miseray is a Fire Monkey, Psam is a Fire Dragon, sadly Burp is a snake
30) So 2008 started with learning about the Chinese New year and my sign
31) I know, I’m a little late on the up take sometimes
32) But it fits in with the Astrology I did as a teen
33) The numerology I never quite mastered.
34) Oh and, I’ve come up with a new part for my hair
35) For some reason my headset has begun parting my bangs
36) It looks like a reject style from “Something About Mary”
37) The headset shoves two thirds to the left, and the right one-third straight up and back.
38) So now I’m doing physical comedy, too
39) Which works in with my “leave ‘em laughing philosophy.”
40)You know, life needs a good hug, a good laugh, good music, and a boat load of chocolate
41) Life needs friends, I adore and cherish my friends
42) Life needs a hot tub
43) We’re ordering ours tomorrow, thank you Lord.
44)My poetry has begun flowing again
45) Well not for the last week
46) Because I’m critiquing, but it’s flowing.
47) Life also needs a good book - would someone please talk Jane Austen in to writing more?
48) Last year I took no vacations, bad idea
49) This year I’m planning a few
50) Beginning with Sid’s birthday party in April
51) Which means I’m going to try my first Frodka
52) I am taking more time with my family
53) Eating more Chinese food
54) And celebrating the people in my life.
55) Hey, right now go find a card and send it to someone just because you can and you love them
56) They could be gone tomorrow, next week, or next month
57) Let them know you care TODAY
58) You may not get another chance
59) I can honestly say I have no regrets and no words of love left unsaid. Can you say that?
60) This year I plan on gardening more
61) Finishing Ducky’s lily garden
62) Maybe putting in a fountain
63) In the front yard
64) Adding more paver bricking
65) And creating cozy corners that beg to be sat in.
66) I am irreverent
67) I drives people crazy, but they are far too serious about themselves
68) But outside of the war, Bush, and taxes what is there that is so fucking serious that you have to be morose and flum all the time?
69) I love my job
70) Everyone should love their job, because life is far too long to be miserable.
71) I love giving presents
72) I don’t do it often enough
73) And sadly some presents don’t get shipped, because I’ve not conquered that procrastination thingie
74) Which means Buddy and family still haven’t received their birthday gifts from last year
75) I hope that just means a bigger box shipped this year EARLY!
76) I have found an upside to the writer’s strike
77) I have almost quit watching TV
78) Almost -
79) Except for Ghost Hunters, American Idol, and happy ending movies
80) I even gave up General Hospital for the most part several months ago
81) That doesn’t mean I don’t indulge myself in a GH Sunday marathon on occasion
82) It’s that ennui thingie going on.
83) Yeah that’s right no Big Brother 9 or Survivor Favs vs Fans – so been there, done that
84) Or as Jules would say, “I’m soooo over that.”
85) Oh and Arnie, my nephew, gave me a copy of Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black
86) OHMIGOD I ADORE IT.
87) By the way it’s Natalie’s birthday Sunday
88) Joshlyn’s too or maybe that is next Wednesday, darn I can’t remember
89) And when exactly is Peggy’s birthday?
90) And no it’s not the elderly memory loss going on.
91) It’s MENOPAUSE
92) This year I plan to take more photos
93) Write more poetry
94) And find the time to read more.
95) I am impatiently awaiting the start of baseball season
96) It is a long, sportsless period between the end of college football and MLB season.
97) We always have a baseball dinner on opening night.
98) Yeah hotdogs and Crackerjacks.
99) I got to see the space shuttle and the International Space Station zip across the Southwestern sky last night and tonight
100) Not a bad way to close out 51,
101) hmmm 52 isn’t looking too bad.

Sith,
Cele

Evolution of the Valentine

Remember having to choose just the right Valentine for each person out of the box of preprinted “Love, Me’s” your mom bought? Then you would meticulously write their name on the front of the little envelope (You know the ones with the glue that taste like dissolved vitamins, and I’m not talking Flinstones – no I’m talking your mom’s vitamins, the ones with extra iron.) And then after all the yuck and the muck stuck to your tongue, the dumb, stupid flap wouldn’t stick. Yeah, those valentines and those dumb, stupid little envelopes.

After spending the entire weekend before Valentine’s Day sweating in preparation and adolescent angst as to whether Jody Coyote or Greg “He touched my hand, I’ll never wash it again” Reed liked your card (yeah, I know I was hedging my bets even back then, albeit in vane) you find out that Pammy Wilkerson was smart enough to specifically add well chosen Conversation Hearts to get her message across, win the boys, and the day. Actually it was Pammy who yelled, “Greg Reed touched my hand, I’m never going to wash it again. He’s meeting me on the monkey bars at lunch.” Now this is before girls were allowed to wear shorts or pants to school. Back in a time when showing panties on the twirling bar and jungle gym was an every day occurrence. Back before it was taboo to us. So you know what Greg was really there for? Yeah, that’s right, twirling until you puked up those Conversation Hearts.



It became a race far too important to leave to preprinted cartoon characters, and by the third grade I was working to leave Pammy Wilkerson in the dust. I’d placed my eyes on new toys in the school yard, I was on a conquest. I toiled with paper lace doilies, pink and red construction paper, Elmer’s paste, and markers that would indelibly let Danny Buzzelli know I WANTED HIM to be my Valentine. Alas. Mon Dieu. Son of a biscuit eating basketball player, Kathy Gaston stole the day and Dan’s eight year old heart (no twirling required – because we didn’t twirl anymore, no we played hopscotch and tetherball now for hours on end.) Kathy, armed with glitter and all the latest Beatles 45’s knew all the right things to say on her doily hearts.



Today I say it with Chocolate; lots of Chocolate (because Ducky only knows four food groups – cheese, crackers, dip, and chocolate – not necessarily in that order, but really close,) music, and several of the best that Hallmark has to offer. There is almond toffee by the coffee maker, Reese’s peanut butter hearts on his steering wheel, Dove chocolate hearts in his lunch, and a Johnny Cash CD in his overnight bag (nothing says “I Love You” more than buying music you can’t stand for the one you love) with Hershey’s Cherry Cordial Kisses in the pockets of his Levis.



But what did my Ducky do? He One Upped Me….BIG TIME!

I ♥ My Ducky!

And those fancy ass chocolate covered strawberries he got me.



Happy Valentine’s and Lots of Chocolate Love coming your way.

Sith,
Cele

John Flynn and Dover

It’s Talk Thursday and I’m suppose to be writing about “The Fiery Place”. I thought and thought and can’t think of a fiery place. But stay tuned, it could happen.

In my job I get to meet great, I mean really interesting people. This afternoon I interviewed, and was given the appropriate serenade ONAIR ah, the life of a DJ is hard, by an awesome singer songwriter, who before last week I’d never heard of.

Singer Songwriter John Flynn was dressed appropriately in black and carried a well-traveled guitar case in his left hand. And when I say well traveled I mean a beat up, water stained case stuck many times over with fragile stickers that the airlines apparently failed to read on several occasions. His smile was lovely, his grip nice, and his butt is a topic for another log. He opened the case, while wondering aloud if he should have checked it before leaving the terminal, the airlines are kind of hard on equipment. He pulled the guitar out of the case, strapped it one, and began tuning it up over queries and small talk.

Normally interviews are about ten minutes long, sometimes five if the interviewee is boring, talentless, or stinks. John Flynn was none of the above, the interview ran a good twenty minutes or so and included two songs. I love a man that sings to me. He is friends with Kris Kristopherson, Arlo Gutherie (you know the guy my dog is named after), and Willie Nelson. He’s written for some of the biggest names in the music industry, and he is incredibly down to earth. He is one of the few sincere people I’ve ever met who truly walks the talk.

He sang this song for me…er and my listeners. The acoustics were much better on air. Dover is his latest cut from his Two Wolves CD. This song gives me chills and tears in my eyes.



You can find out more about John Flynn and his beautiful music at www.johnflynn.net or at his myspace page where you can listen to more.

Sith,
Cele

A Long Time No Meme

This is either the… Another Stupid Blog Meme or A Long Time No Meme (which I like better)

Sid posted this tagless Meme, but I’m in the mood and his answers just crack me up. So if you like, play long.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, my father’s mother

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Really sat down and had a good cry? I don’t remember. Having a nervous break down, it’s about fucking time cry? July.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? When I am not stressed, yes. As a teen I would sit for hours and perfect a letter I’d seen that caught my eye.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Hmmm, I eat rice and raisins for lunch everyday. I’d have to say tuna.

5. HAVE YOU ANY CHILDREN? One and two halves.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? If I worked with me yes, but don’t expect to chat on the phone, go shopping, or to the movies with me, I’m boring. But we could do breakfast every so often.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I especially like Loreal Noir, you know the one with the curved brush. Love it. Oh, you mean sarcasm? Hmmm, not much, yeah duh.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yeah, they're kind of attached

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? If I can turn my mind off and be assured I won’t crash and splatt, yep I could. But I really like the idea of reverse bungee (I’m not sure that’s the name for it.)

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I have rice and raisins for breakfast everyday. Yes for lunch too. But cereal, hmmm shredded wheat, Quaker Oat bran rocks, but it’s so fattening, just glue it to my hips because that is where it will end up.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? God, don’t tell my husband, I just slip out of them. Oh, wait, they’re boots.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? When I have to be, but I recently realise I’ve got sissy girl muscles, despite all the iron I pumped in the 80s and 90s.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Oh this is so hard, it changes constantly. It has to be from BJ’s ice cream (I buy it by the three gallon tub, have you seen my butt lately?) Their raspberry cheesecake rocks, the cappuccino fudge is devine.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their eyes, their smile, and if they squished my fingers in to my rings.

15. RED OR PINK? Ugh, green.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I am lazy, anatilitical, and did I mention lazy?

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO DO THIS MEME? It is their choice.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? No shoes, I’m wearing my jammies. A gorgous blend of snowflakes, blues, and greens.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? An Oreo cookie.

Okay, darn I had six.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The wind blowing the latest winter storm inland. It is a warm storm so we will get lots of wind and rain. Watch the news for winter floods in Oregon.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Teal, but is it teal blue or teal green?

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Gingerbread baking, vanilla, Old spice, sea air, turkey roasting.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE? A guy who use to work with Ducky and calls EVERY FUCKING NIGHT DURING DINNER.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO MADE YOU DO THIS STUPID MEME? No body MAKES me do anything, but I love Sid, he’s a doll.

26. WHICH SPORT DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING MOST? Oregon Duck Football, baseball, World Cup Soccer, and the Olympics.

27. HAIR COLOR? Bottle Blonde, aka Loreal 8 ½ Champaign Blonde. Did you know Loreal has a great Mascara too. I especailly like the Noir with the curved brush.

28. EYE COLOR? Green, with brown and gold around the iris.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACT LENSES? No

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Cooked by someone else.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice, I has having a Jane Austin night, but I wore out before I could watch Emma and Mansfield Park.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? A slate blue tank.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both for different and the same reasons.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? As often as possible

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cheesecake, but lately I’ve had a craving for Lusicous Lemon bars (go figure) anyone have a good recipe, mine’s okay, but I’m open to new ideas.

39. WHAT BOOK(S) ARE YOU READING NOW? Princess of the Blood for the second time.
And an Elvis Cole police procedural.

40. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I have a track ball, but my mouse pad sits right next to it under my teacup, it has my garden petunias from several years ago on it.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I didn’t turn on the TV last night.

42. FAVORITE SOUND? My grandson laughing -- then thunder, the ocean, the wind, and my windchimes.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? It depends on the era. I like early Stones, and Beatles ballads

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Which is farther Copenhagen or Amsterdamn? I’ve laid over in both. But I lived in Germany for two years.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I breathe, oh wait you do too. Hmmm. I don’t think so.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In a delivery room. Strangely the same one my mother and my grandfather were born in. Now doesn’t that rock. Huntington Memorial in Pasadena.